Everything Wrong With Nostalgia Critic on Jurassic Park
Intro:
1.
0:25 And SKIP!
2.
1:37 I was gonna nitpick on this but... [laughs] Not a bad joke there. Also, here's 1:41 every time Doug makes an extremely dumb criticism or joke.
3.
1:57 But, instead of pointing out any errors or movie mistakes in Jurassic Park, you're gonna nitpick almost EVERY moment.
4.
2:24 Yeah, Spielberg and JJ Abrams are obsessed with bright lights. But in this scene, it makes sense for the glaring spotlights to be there, since this is set at night. How would Muldoon transfer the Velociraptor without any light source?
5.
3:02 The "brute force" you described was the most sense on what they were doing. With the most resources they have to capture the Big One, this was the best method they could deal with. Also, that piece of footage you showed us there, was an attempt to save Jophery from getting completely mauled. I don't think "common sense" you interpreted would be the better solution.
6.
3:11 That wouldn't have worked, since that would harm the asset, or at least, piss it off. This was WHY they had the cage against the gateway instead of over it, cos if the forklift raised it higher, the Big One would've jumped on top of her cage and jump over from her unnatural habitat.
7.
3:14 In real life, tranquillisers don't immediately work effectively against certain types of animals. The effects of tranquillising them are quite random and can be very unpredictable. They could either be very relaxed or they'd become very enraged and go violent before eventually falling unconscious. Also, tranqs can take minutes or hours, depending on the species.
8.
3:23 SKIP
9.
3:41 New Zealander? WE GOT A NEW ZEALANDER HERE! See? Nobody cares.
10.
3:50 Ok. Apparently, co-workers/partners who are opposite genders to each other should be in a romantic relationship? Didn't you say that every couple doesn't need to be romantic in your crappy Jurassic World video? And no, the relationship between Grant and Sattler is platonic. And I see no problem with that whatsoever.
11.
3:55 And then, here's Doug Walker, who appears to be suffering a weird case of childish screaming.
Seriously, I'd rather listen to someone's awkward mumbling than some 40 year old screaming like a spoiled brat.
12.
4:13 I see, you're still a white belt in Google. Cos, if you look at the images of the actual types of raptors, like the Dromaesaurus, you'd see why they're known as "bird of prey".
13.
4:30 No, no, no. You are NOT supposed to cut out the awesome part of the scene that foreshadows the upcoming events of the movie with the raptors.
14.
4:45
15.
4:56 By field, Hammond isn't referring to the technological field, but rather one that contributes to both the cloned Dinosaurs and the natural environment of Jurassic Park. Hammond didn't hire Grant and Sattler for more computer work. Also, you think Sattler's qualification as a paleobotanist isn't good enough for that field? [laughs] Shut the fuck up
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Everything Wrong With Nostalgia Critic Vol. 1
RandomHere are my logs on everything that's wrong with Nostalgia Critic and why Doug Walker fails at being a critic, as well as a movie reviewer. Some of these contained my favourite movies, while others are movies that I believe had been judged too unfai...
