Autophobia

Clean

"Are you sure you're not hungry?"

Amelia nodded. Despite the warm weather, she wore a long dress and a light sweater on top. She sat hunched over the table. Her hands playing with the pen she hasn't found herself setting down yet.

Charlotte put away the pan she just pulled out.

Amelia felt awful but she has been requesting Charlotte to keep her company. John has been busy working with the new butler in helping him get the ropes to the large establishment. Her presence, any presence was needed right now. Her medication was supposed to drown out the paranoia when she's alone. After Zane took over and monitored how much she was taking she found herself getting better, even finding herself drifting off alone in the mansion, something she never thought she would catch herself doing. She certainly never did it at home.

However, after discovering that she was sold she felt her nerves jumbled more than before. She's not supposed to feel the need to look over her shoulder but she does with her breath caught in her throat. When she can't see anyone she can feel hands reaching out for her. Hands tied to dark and menacing faces with greedy smiles.

Zane has listened to her request and had just about disappeared from her life. With a home this big it was possible. The only time she ever saw him was when they both go to bed. She still slept in his room. After the discovery, she is not sure if she can sleep alone. She often stayed up, keeping Charlotte up with her until he got home late at night and slip into her bed when he did into his own.

She touched her hair. She can feel the greasiness, the evidence of her avoidance of a shower. Another problem she has yet to deal with. She couldn't find it in herself to shower alone, but she couldn't ask anyone to be there when she did it. It was a ridiculous and inappropriate request.

She looked out the window to the koi pond. The thought of just hopping in the pond crossed her mind and it made her realize she was going crazy. She already went in there once, she can't make it a habit.

"Charlotte."

"Yes?" She looked at her with a polite smile.

Amelia didn't like her professionalism. It made it hard for her to tell if charlotte actually enjoyed having to be in her presence.

"Are there any chores that need to be done in the garden?"

Charlotte nodded. "There are weeds that do need to be pulled in the flower bed but it is scheduled to be done later this afternoon."

Amelia clicked the pen. "Can I pull the weeds?"

She looked confused at first. "You want to pull the weeds?"

"I can feel my mind rotting and I feel disgusting." Amelia looked at her pleadingly. "If I can work my hands and get something on me other than my own filth I'll feel a little bit better."

Charlotte straightened up quickly and smiled. "Let's go to the shed and fetch the wheelbarrow."

*****

It was like every night. Zane came home late, never knew how late. But he knew Amelia would be waiting for him like every night to go to bed. She didn't talk to him much, only when it was polite. He wasn't bothered by it. He was worried he was the only thing letting her catch any sleep at night.

He hated that Carlos dipped the idea into his head, the idea to take advantage of her autophobia. Every time he wanted to do something for her, for her own sake, his mind tied it to Carlos's idea and it made him sick. Lately, he had been using John and Charlotte as his ways to connect with Amelia. He'd ask them to do things for her that he wanted to do. As a way to keep her from becoming attached to him. So he didn't feel like he was taking advantage of her.