A Midsummer Christmas

Part 23

"Is something the matter?"

They had been dancing for what felt like forever. It could not have been more than a few moments, but Georgiana could not consign herself to silence. Richard had not spoken a word to her since their dance began and he scarcely even looked her way. It was so unlike him not to talk or joke or even pull a face to make her laugh, yet he seemed a shadow of his usual self. Gone were his teasing smile and jovial good nature. He moved like a man en route to execution, not dancing with a friend he knew well at a ball thrown partly to celebrate him! Her heart began to beat too fast and her mind crowded with causes for Richard's dismay, none of which brought any comfort.

"Richard!" Georgiana's voice was a whisper, but a sharp one, and it carried further than she had meant it to. The pairs on either side of them turned to look at her and she smiled, feebly, reassuring them that all was well. The only eyes that did not meet hers, and which she'd wanted most of all, were Richard's.

Well, if he will not speak to me I cannot make him, Georgiana thought, trying to swallow her concern. I must try again after our dance is finished.

What had been a source of delight to her - dancing her favourite dance, to a favoured piece of music, and with jolly Richard by her side - had become a trial, and Georgiana felt her spirits sink with every step she took.

Has it really taken only one dance with Harriet Arnold for him to realise how much I lack as a companion? Georgiana bit her lip, feeling tears well up in her eyes and fighting to keep them at bay. She was not a worldly young lady, she knew that. Her misadventure with George Wickham had only been possible because of her foolish naiveté, but she could not help who she was. She had never thought it mattered to those who truly cared for her.

Perhaps that is the problem, then. Richard never cared for me as more than his silly little cousin Georgie. That is the root of all his merriment and teasing. He sees me as a sister, a friend to be tolerated and tormented but certainly not admired. She had been foolish to allow her heart to form an attachment where one could never flourish. She had known it, and tried to fight it, but what hope did one ever have in fighting true love?

True love? She heard the question in George Wickham's sneering voice, that dreadful hour he had turned from charming lover to pitiless rake and informed her, quite carelessly, that his true interest lay in her dowry, and in the additional bonus of plaguing Fitzwilliam. His mask had slipped entirely and Georgiana had seen him - and her own folly in being deceived by him to begin with - for who he truly was. She had blamed herself since, certain that a cleverer young lady would never have been so easily swayed. Lizzy would not have been!

Elizabeth had been her close friend and confidant ever since her arrival in Pemberley, the sister Georgiana had longed for all her life. And she did not discourage me from thinking of Richard. Georgiana tried to think back over their conversations and realised, with a flash of embarrassment, that she had never said in so many words that her heart belonged to him. Perhaps Lizzy had not meant to encourage her at all! I have been a fool twice over! Georgiana thought, stifling a sob. She had not stifled it so well as she had intended, though, for it appeared the sound reached Richard's ears, at last breaking through his distraction. He turned to look at her and there was such warmth, such concern in his familiar brown eyes that for a moment Georgiana was startled. She lost her footing and fumbled to regain it, and when she looked back at Richard he was smiling. It was not the easy smile she knew well but one she had never seen before, one that seemed to recognise and return all her feelings without the need of speaking a word.

"Richard?" she ventured, wanting very much to believe the evidence of her eyes but not quite ready to trust them.

"Georgie." He had stopped dancing now as well, and in half a moment they came close to causing a collision, narrowly avoided when Richard stepped out of the line of dancers, closing his hand around Georgiana's and dragging her with him. "I am in no mood to dance at the moment. Shall we take a turn about the room instead?"