Paying the Piper

Twenty-One: Making Up for Lost Time

In the gray twilight of timelessness, I studied Cale. The sudden feeling of kinship, closeness, was like a button had been turned on that had previously been off. It was like we were five and seven again, and he was throwing acorns at me and Evie to try to make us stop following him everywhere. I wasn't ready to leave this area. I needed to make sense of my new understandings with my current age and predicament.

But the first thing I needed to do was apologize. "Cale," I said softly, "I'm sorry." I swallowed against a sudden lump in my throat. "Sorry I forgot you, sorry I treated you badly, sorry for so much." Sorry that I wasn't there when he lost his parents and Evie.

"It was as it needed to be." He shrugged, wincing at the movement, but I suspected he was just hiding his true feelings. Still, as close as I now felt to him, talking about such personal matters still felt awkward.

I changed the subject. "I still don't understand who Potomah was. Why is she there? If she has the power to help quell Dorian, why not work to stop him?"

"She doesn't have the power. Not now, if ever. Dorian bound her to that realm centuries ago."

Horrified, I asked, "Why not set her free? If it is possible?"

  He glanced at me as if unsure how I would take his next words. "She is bound in that realm for a specific purpose. As long as she is there, the forest will remain; no one will be able to destroy it." He looked down at his hands again again. He reiterated, "To free her is to destroy the forest. The moment she leaves, this place will be gone. Fire, bulldozers, pestilence. Everything that has so far stayed away will suddenly be able to locate it. It will happen quickly and unalterably."

She had mentioned this too. She and the forest were interchangeable, he had told me. I hadn't realized how much. But surely she wouldn't want the forest destroyed either...? Except I remembered some of the twisted smiles on her face and shuddered. Perhaps being trapped there for centuries had caused her to grow corrupted. Or maybe she was always that way. I couldn't be sure of anything. But still, it didn't feel right that she was being held there against her will, even if the motive was to protect the forest.

"Why does she want memories?"

He shrugged. "For her garden. So she can experience life since she has no life, trapped as she is. I don't know. I just surmise."

"I wonder if we can get your memory back..." I tapped a finger against my lips, wondering if I could get back to Potomah's place on my own. Reaching the twilight realm was a mystery, but maybe I could wander to the heart of the forest by myself. Once there, I just had to dream...but Cale was Boundless. He might have been able to go where someone untrained could not.

"If I just had to give up some memories to keep you safe, it's well worth the price. I have many more memories yet to offer, too, if it comes to that. When the obfuscation is gone, we can renew it."

Frowning, I crossed my arms. "Promise me you won't."

He placed a finger the long way between his teeth and said nothing.

"Cale! Promise me. Right now."

Finally: "Surely the past is less important than the future?"

He was not going to budge. Very well. I could play that game too. I'd stop pestering him, but I would find a way to confront Dorian myself and put an end to all this. 

"Is it true that my family's blood is what he's after?"

He hesitated, but at last he nodded. "Before the others fled—and there were more of us until a few years ago—they taught me about our history and how to traverse the In-between. They explained how we were bonded to the In-between." He took a deep breath, gazing inward. "It was your family's ancestor who discovered how to bond with the In-between. It was a ceremony that bonded vision with the invisible paths, so one eye would be linked and able to see the gateways and boundaries."