as the snow falls - coriolanus snow

mistake

you gnawed at the tip of your pencil, guts twisting as you watched Coriolanus place your essay on Mr. Highbottom's desk. walking back to you he smiled and flashed you a thumbs up.

"It's gonna be fine! we read it over 20 times" he whispered and you nodded, knowing your worrying was useless now

you watched as Mr. Highbottom picked your paper up, and you closed your eyes.

.

you gleefully walked over to Clemmy and her friends with your lunch tray in hand, you felt slightly guilty for not sitting with Coryo but you told him what they did for you and he hugged you and said,

"I can't wait to see you in your dress"

and you've been replaying that ever since he said it.

"You must be really excited about that soup, Y/n" Clemmy joked, you realized you'd been staring at your food since you sat down. you smiled before lifting your spoon 

"So, anyway about the winter formal" Clemmy started

"I know who I'm asking out!" she squealed, as did the rest of the girls

"Who?! Who?!" the girls chanted and she took a breath in before saying,

"Coriolanus Snow!"

you choked on your soup, 

"you can't ask him out!" you said right away, the girls looked at you confused

"Why not? we're perfect for each other, both hard workers, confident, set goals-"

"Yeah but..." your words left your mouth as you stuttered, why can't they go out together?

"What do you looove him?" Lysistrata teases, making kissing noises with her lips at you.

Love him? you don't-

"What? I thought you...like, hated him?" Clemmy asks

"No, she loves him"

"She said she hated him-"

"I do!"

you finally yell, their words and accusations filling your brain to the brim as you couldn't stand it anymore, Clemmy looked at you shocked and you heard the cafeteria door slam shut

scanning the room you realized one person was missing,

Snow.

.

You sprinted to the school entrance, a teacher pointing away saying she saw Coriolanus leave just a moment prior. 

you ran down the street, feeling tears fall down your cheeks as you choked on breaths

in your blurry vision, you saw his door and ran up the steps. banging on it as you sobbed.

suddenly, Tigris opened the door, her smile quickly turning into a worrisome frown when she saw your tears

"I- Is C-Coryo..H-here?" you cried Tigris shook her head and pulled you into a hug

"What happened?"

"I- I said something awful, something I should've never said!" you dampened her silky pink top as her fingers ran through your hair soothingly

"Shhh, It's okay, I'm sure It was just a mistake...was it about Coryo?" she asked and you nodded

"He isn't here...You should wait for him to explain" She said but you backed up, waving your hands

"No, no, It's okay Tigris...thank you...I'm sorry about y-your top" you said between tears, embarrassment for the whole situation finding you as you blurted out a goodbye before running home

you did something irreversible,

something you can never forgive yourself for.

and you're afraid Coriolanus won't forgive you either.