DRESS || ( charlie dalton )

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐲 ੈ✩‧₊˚

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐝𝐢𝐝
𝐲𝐨𝐮
𝐠𝐞𝐭
𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞,
𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐰𝐡𝐲
𝐝𝐨
𝐲𝐨𝐮
𝐜𝐫𝐲?

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

(tw)

the backpack was fastly packed, with clothes crumbling through the opening, because it wasn't fully closed due to the amount she had stuffed in.

the sun was only starting to rise and she was shivering, rubbing her arms and kicking little stones beneath her feet.

she wasn't sure what time it was, but it was still early, the bus not coming for at least another half hour.

"what are you doing?" a sudden voice asked.

loraine looked up from the street and noticed neil stepping closer to her.

despite being only ten years old, he was already taller than her by at least a head. he was wearing his usual coat, the one that was too long on the sleeves, but he never cared to let his mother fix, because he said it was so that he could wear the coat forever. even when he would grow.

loraine normally rolled her eyes at that and neil only wore the coat for two more winters, having it outgrown by the third one.

"nothing" loraine adverted her eyes, watching the clouds move through the sky, even if they did it painfully slow

"why the backpack?" neil tried to grab it, but loraine turned her back away from him. "you know we still have holidays right?"

"i know" loraine watched closely, as neil got out of his coat and put it on the ground.

"let's sit down" he said "i'll wait with you, whatever it is you're waiting for" neil sat down and patted the spot next to him.

"you're going to freeze to death"

neil shrugged "i'm wearing a thick sweater"

loraine sighed, but gave in, sitting down on the coat. "how did you know i was here?"

"your window is across from mine isn't it?" neil raised a brow "i saw the light and i wondered why you were up so early"

"why didn't you tell my father? or tommy?"

"what should i have told them?" neil smiled and loraine squeezed his hand

"i want to leave" she finally admitted, knowing that neil would never tell on her

"i know" loraine was surprised at his answer, but didn't question it.

she almost wanted to cry, when she looked up from their joined hands and noticed the look on his face. the brown eyes that would almost heal any grief that was plaguing her mind. he was always so understanding and loraine sometimes wondered how it had to feel to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders

it looked almost easy when neil would do it. he had never left her side. not even during the hard times. especially not during the hard times. his window always only a few feet away.

"i won't leave" she said after a long pause, finally being able to admit the truth to herself.

she had waited for longer than she was able to recall, purposefully missing the first two busses. maybe having enough strength to get on the third.

"i know" neil squeezed her hand and helped her to stand up

"how?"

neil shrugged and loraine had almost accepted it as an answer, before he spoke again. "in which world would you ever leave without me?"

loraine smiled at neil. neil, who was truly her best friend. and he was right. when it came down to it, and sometimes it did, she just couldn't leave him behind. whatever it was with leaving and getting away, she could wait for a while longer, for neil.

he picked up his coat, shaking it so the snow would fall off. he put it back on, the sleeves still too long for his arms.

it always astonished her in some kind of way, that he would do or say things like that, sharing all the wisdom in the world, and then he put on a coat that was still too big, making loraine realize that he didn't just grow so much older.

he was still a kid himself. and he had so much sympathy to offer her. but that was just neil and maybe he was just older in a different way. older in the kind of way that lets you say things like that and still not fit in your coat properly.

neil softly took her hand, leading her through the snow and back home.

maybe the gap between his arm and the end of the sleeve wasn't just for growing. her hand fit right in there, keeping it warm.

maybe it was just a coat that he would outgrow two years later. or maybe it was so much more.

loraine knew that this was what friendship felt like. or to her it did at least. when the whole world was cold, friendship was the gap in a young boys coat, keeping your hand warm.

loraine wondered how no one had ever noticed that friendship and warmness were awfully familiar.

"are you going to leave again?" asked neil

loraine shook her head "i don't think so"

"i could come with you" neil suggested. for a moment she thought about taking him up on that offer. he seemed sincere, his brown eyes not leaving the hint of a joke. she knew that he would.

loraine shook her head again. "it's alright, neil"

the snow was thick and high enough to almost slip into her boots. she wondered if neil was cold. his coat was a bit wet from the snow he had put it on. she worried that he would get sick, but neil wasn't even shivering.

she squeezed his hand, the one that was still warm and holding hers firmly. "i'll stay for you"

"thank you" neil smiled "i'll stay too, if you care to know"

"well, that's nice" loraine laughed softly, the silence of the morning bottling her laughter and letting it get lost in the air

"it's easy" neil shrugged "you make it hard to leave"

and now, many years later loraine's heart was aching for neil, like it always was, but tonight he wasn't there to answer her calling, making her bleed out on the open floor, almost like she was sharing his wound.

the night neil died, he used a single bullet. and with that single bullet he shot everyone that loved him. making them bleed out and beg for his warmth.

loraine was crying for a boy with a too big coat, who had probably taken until that very night to outgrow it, forever taking away the gap that had provided her warmth.

and for the first time in years she thought about the day at the bus stop. about leaving and going back home, without anyone ever noticing what she had planned to do.

she thought about going back in time and saying yes to neil's offer, taking him by the hand and running away, not looking back, not losing him.

but even though her heart was breaking, she knew, deep down that nothing had changed. neil was still neil. and just because he died didn't mean he loved her any less.

the feeling of friendship and love would never change. not truly.

when the whole world was cold, friendship was the gap in a young boys coat, keeping your hand warm.

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