DRESS || ( charlie dalton )

xx. of truth and hurt

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

DRESS
(( — DEAD POETS SOCIETY — ))

—chapter xx. of truth and hurt

tw: mention of suicide and grief

LORAINE KNOCKED on the door to todd's room. he opened the door slowly, surprised to see her there. "hey" she smiled softly

"hi" he said "you can't be here"

"i know" she nodded "will you let me in anyway?"

todd grinned and opened the door wider, inviting her inside, before he closed it again. she sat down on neil's bed, across from todd who was leaning against the wall at the window.

"are you going to sign it?" loraine asked, breaking the silence

"what?" todd was confused

"it doesn't take a genius" loraine shrugged "they're probably going to give us some paper, filled with a statement that's more than just a lie and make us sign it. the consequence of not signing would be expulsion i guess"

"are you?"

loraine smiled and then she shook her head "in half a year my life is probably over anyway, why not go down with a bang?"

todd admired her fearlessness. "charlie is out anyway, huh?"

loraine nodded and sighed. they stayed quiet for a few moments before she broke the silence. "where you ever gonna tell neil that you were in love with him?"

"what?" todd stuttered, surprised and confused

"i don't mean to make you uncomfortable" loraine said softly "but it was quite obvious, well to me at least"

"you don't think it's wrong?" asked todd surprised. he wasn't sure if he was gay, but he did like neil more than a friend. that wasn't something his family or neil's family would've ever approved of

"why would i think it's wrong?" loraine asked, mirroring his surprise "you looked at neil the way i look at charlie, what could be wrong about loving someone?"

todd shrugged and looked down to his shoes. "i probably would have never told him anyway"

"i'm sorry" loraine said "about everything that happened. you didn't want to be a part of this and we dragged you into it, that was wrong"

todd shook his head "no" he said "i don't regret anything, lori. meeting all of you was the best thing that's ever happened to me and meeting neil.." he paused, before he added "changed my life"

loraine smiled at him and nodded "okay"

after a few minutes, it was once again loraine who broke the silence. "i was only eight when my mother left us. she packed all her things and ran away in the night"

todd's head almost flew off by how quick it turned to the side. "your mother didn't die?" he asked surprised

"no" loraine shook her head smiling "she was smart and left"

"without you and your brother? don't you hate her?"

"no" loraine shook her head "i used to hate her for such a long time, and i still get sad when i think about her, but ultimately she made a smart choice. my parents marriage was arranged and she was twenty-two years younger than my father when they got married. she was only twenty"

"that's awful" todd shook his head in disgust

"i know" loraine nodded "nolan might not be the worst father, but he was probably the worst husband. i was still a child and even i knew that she hated her life. i remember so little about her, but this never left my head"