The passage of time in London has done little to diminish the constancy of my thoughts as they drift back to Hertfordshire and the events that transpired at Netherfield. The city, with all its diversions and social obligations, cannot seem to fully engage my attention, for there is a restlessness within me that I find difficult to soothe.
Today's entry is marked by a development that has caused a considerable degree of inner conflict. Miss Jane Bennet, the elder sister of Elizabeth, has come to London, accompanied by her Aunt Gardiner. It seems that the purpose of her visit is at least, in part, to be near Charles, who remains unaware of her presence in the city.
Miss Bingley, upon learning of Miss Bennet's arrival, has taken it upon herself to ensure that her brother remains ignorant of this fact. She insists that it is for his own good, to protect him from an attachment that could only bring him discomfort and social disadvantage. I confess that I have been complicit in this concealment, for while my conscience chides me for the deception, my concern for Charles's welfare echoes Miss Bingley's reasoning.
Yet, I cannot deny that there is another, less noble part of me that is relieved by the distance this secrecy maintains between Charles and the Bennets, for it also serves to keep Elizabeth from my immediate orbit. The very notion that I should find solace in this separation is a matter of great personal reproach.
Miss Bingley's machinations do not end with mere concealment. She has taken active measures to ensure that any attempt by Miss Bennet to call upon us is met with polite excuses and carefully constructed barriers. Her determination to sever the ties between her brother and the Bennet family is unyielding, and I watch her efforts with a mixture of admiration and dismay.
As I reflect upon these actions, I am struck by the complexity of human motives and the intricate web of societal expectations that govern our behavior. We act under the guise of protecting those we care for, and yet our actions can so often be guided by our own desires and prejudices.
The days pass, and I find myself increasingly unsettled. Jane Bennet's quiet dignity in the face of our subtle rejection only serves to heighten my respect for her character, and by extension, that of her sister. I wonder at the justice of our actions, and whether the preservation of social standing is worth the possible sacrifice of genuine affection and happiness.
It is in these quiet hours of the night, as I commit my thoughts to this journal, that I allow myself to ponder the path not taken. What might have been had we encouraged Charles to pursue his heart's desire? And what of my own heart, which, despite all efforts to the contrary, remains inextricably tied to Elizabeth Bennet?
Fitzwilliam Darcy
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The Lost Journals of Fitzwilliam Darcy
Historical Fiction"The Lost Journals of Fitzwilliam Darcy" is a retelling of Jane Austen's classic novel "Pride and Prejudice" from the perspective of the enigmatic Mr. Darcy. Presented as a series of detailed journal entries, the story chronicles Darcy's innermost t...
