Please don't hate me || PJM✓

Hate

Jimin stared at the parcel he received today.

Two months after she was free.

He didn't wanted to open the parcel yet seeing it's from her to him, he hesitantly opened the cardboard box only to find letters in them.

Handwritten letters from her.

How can she be so selfish?

He had thought, leaving him all alone.

How can she be so selfish to not give them a chance?

Dear Jimin:

Till you actually receive these letters, I'll be free. I'll be finally free. Isn't that.... Good? I wanted to write this to you, because you were the only one with whom I shared a strong feeling of something which we both didn't know. But from my side it was definitely not hate. I never hated you. But maybe you did. I'm not complaining though. Because I hated myself. I hated myself to the core. I kept telling myself that I hate you instead but I realised that the hatred was for myself. I was insecure. I was confused. I was... Tired. I felt like a burden. It felt suffocating. It felt too exhausting. To live through such thoughts of constantly being able to take your own life. It have affected me to an extent that their aimless words had cutted me too deep for me to even realise that I was dead inside. It's not the best feeling. My tears were not worth it. I didn't liked myself because I never learned to do so. The feeling of being lifeless within with no energy left was what I was starting to hate. To an extent that..... I became suicidal. There were times I had knifes with me but I wasn't brave, I think I'm never brave alone. I am writing all these letters to you because I had no one but you with whom I shared my ugly side while having arguments with you. We were Enemies. But I didn't even realised how hard it was for me as well as for you to disagree with the fact that being Enemies was just an excuse, wasn't it? But I'm glad that we atleast had something between us. The day I realised that my feelings for you wouldn't change, I hated you deeply. To the point where I couldn't anymore and just accepted my feelings. Do you feel the same?

P.s. And yes, please don't hate me too much. It hurts.

-Your Enemy~

Jimin dropped the letter as he fell onto his knees, weak.

He sobbed out and cried there.

He repeated every single moment with her, thier arguments, their last time together.... Everything.

She was cruel. She dared to do this to him.

She was selfish, she was a selfish women.

And she dared to tell him not to hate her.

Jimin's feelings were a mess after reading few letters.

And that, at every ending she had asked him to not hate her, which made it worse.

"How did I let her jump.... How?"

He felt burdened, he felt like it was his fault.

How did he let it happen?

"I am never brave, alone..."

He repeated her words she had written down.

And he cried even more.

The purpose of writting these letters to him was for her to tell him to live for her.

That her life wasn't what she wished for but would like for him to live truly for both of them.

To get an admission into a university she once wished for.

And to love them both alone

____TBC____