if i love you was a promise | b.e

thirty two

this chapter took 9 years to go up bc i was talking to modenjpg while i was writing it so yeah this chapter is dedicated to her wow im so nice💙 THANK YOU FOR 1K VOTES DAMN i love you bye

finneas walked in on billie and i cuddling about twenty minutes after the show was finished. billie was exhausted, she crowd was huge today.

"hey, just letting you know a friend of mine said he can get you two into a party later, you want to go?" he asked.

"fuck no. i mean, i dont-" billie started, then looked at me.

i knew she was still a little scarred from that party two months ago in paris. even though it was a while ago that's not something you forget.

"billie, we wont go. thank you though, fin." i smiled at him as he nodded and left us alone.

"im sorry, i just-"

"hey." i grabbed her chin gently and stopped her from trying to explain herself. "i get it." i smiled softly, letting her relax a little. "thank you." billie whispered as she leaned her head back onto my shoulder and continued to watch me scroll through my feed and answer dms.

a couple minutes later billie's phone buzzed. it was on the side closest to me so i went to pick it up, a bad mood suddenly coming over me.

"it's bella." i said blatantly, handing it to billie.

"what the fuck?" billie frowned. "i told her not to text me."

"you did?"

"yeah, of course." billie said as if it was obvious. well, it kind of was.

"well what did she say?" i turned on my side to look into billie's screen as she opened the message.

bella
hey bil
look i know you said you didn't like what happened. you told me how you felt about it but i still can't stop thinking about you. i know you said joey didn't deserve that, and i agree. so break up with her and take me on tour instead. you've already done the damage, she probably won't trust you anymore anyway. ive known you longer than she has, we're the ones who should be together.

"fuck." billie mumbled under her breath.

i felt a lump in my throat. bella really was trying to fill my shoes.

i couldn't take looking at those messages anymore so i just stood up and left. i walked to the side of the bus, hearing billie's footsteps close behind me.

"joey, wait."

the sky was getting dark as the sun has just gone out of sight. the air had begun to cool, a soft breeze blowing my hair.

i sat on the ground and curled up, my back resting on the bus. all the feelings were coming back to me. why did billie let her keep going? why did she set a 'time limit'? i know she felt bad, but if this was going to keep happening and just end in her feeling bad then...

"joey, baby, listen to me." billie knealed down in front me, her voice low and soothing.

her hand touched my cheek, causing me to look up at her. her eyes examined mine, trying to find the words.

"do you still think about what happened?" she asked quietly.

i nodded. "i cant help it. im scared you'll just send me home and love her instead."

billie tucked my hair behind my ears and held my face in her hands. "im so sorry joey. i know there's nothing i can do, and bella's probably right, i probably did lose your trust. i will do anything i can to prove to you that i don't want anyone but you."