Do You See Me Now? ✔

Chapter 20.2 - The Switch [Mature]

Saturday, October 27th

     It was highly annoying, having to ride home on a bike with a guy who wanted to jump Jesse, without being able to do anything other than think.

It made room for doubts, fears, nerves; everything that could change his mind in the 15-minute bike ride it took to get home.

Jesse wanted Loek to jump him, simply because he wanted to jump Loek too. He was handsome, he was funny, he was kind and caring, and they clicked. Jesse couldn't deny it any longer; he was starting to like Loek on a whole different level than just a friend.

He kept licking his lips because he missed the taste of kissing Loek, and to remind himself why they were riding home like crazy. Jesse wanted to be home rather sooner than later.

The faster they got home, the lesser time Jesse had to doubt, or wonder. He wished he would have drunk more alcohol to stop himself from overthinking, but that was too late now. There was no possibility to get drunk while riding home.

There were only two possibilities. One was for Jesse to back out and possibly disappoint Loek but prevent himself from possibly hurting the boy. Or he'd go along with it, satisfy his growing curiosity and sexual frustrations, with a chance that things would get too complicated and he'd end up indeed hurting Loek.

Jesse shook his head lightly to shake the negative thoughts off. Loek was old and wise enough to decide himself. He knew Jesse was still in love with Calix, and not with him. He said so himself, so Jesse figured he was okay with Jesse not having feelings for him.

But Jesse did have feelings for him, just not as much as he had for Calix. Besides, Jesse deserved to experiment with his feelings with someone who was actually into him, possibly finding someone who would distract him from Calix.

Someone who'd be enough to get him to forget about the Greek God and move on. Which was something Jesse desperately wanted; getting over Calix.

He just didn't want to use Loek for that reason.

And he kept reminding himself he wasn't just agreeing to this because he wanted to forget about Calix. No, he was agreeing to this because he wanted to sleep with Loek.

In the past few days, Jesse had repeatedly fallen asleep in his arms, and he always woke up disappointed about the fact that Loek had already gone to work.

That was saying something. At least, that's what Jesse kept telling himself.

When they finally reached the apartment complex, Jesse's overthinking came to an end, mostly because Loek left nothing to the imagination, and attacked him in a kiss as soon as they locked their bikes.

Instead of a sweet, romantic kiss like they had shared in the club, this one was one that hungrily screamed for more—it was full of lust and longing. If they'd keep it going like that in the bike shed, Jesse wasn't sure they'd make it to the bedroom.

Which was why he pulled back from the kiss, even if it took all of his self control to do so. "Let's get inside," he suggested, trying to catch his breath at the same time.

Loek simply nodded, grabbed his chin and kissed him again shortly, before they hurriedly made their way to the stairwell. Every few steps they stopped, kissed and reminded each other they wanted to make it to the bedroom.

As soon as they stumbled into the apartment, Loek started pulling on Jesse's hoodie, telling him to take it off. But Jesse was highly aware they weren't the only two in the apartment, and waited for them to reach the bedroom, before he pulled it over his head, throwing it in a corner carelessly.