The Other Henry VIII

You Need More Than Love

Cromwell's POV

20 September 1523
It is God punishing me, I think, when the King orders me to take a small party to the Rochford estate and inspect his 'son'. Of course, I obey faithfully without complaint again. It was strange enough to conduct an investigation into a case when I know full well that I am the culprit. What harm could it do? I thought. Now, I regret it.

Though my horse is at the head of the group, my mind still conjures plenty of haunting images around me. I remember when we moved court to Greenwich Palace, over five years ago. Diana and the King ride ahead of me, gasping in the heat. I see her now, a ghostly image: her crown loose atop her shining black curls, belly swollen with the baby boy that had turned out to be Princess Elizabeth. I see her glance back to me, eyes full of bottled pain and longing, lingering only for a second to avoid suspicion. I see her so clearly, as if she were flesh and blood. The vision of her is imprinted in my mind like a branding iron on skin. Diana Westerly: the love of my life. She will never leave me, not so long as I live.
When Esther died, I could not even mourn. Perhaps she was my daughter, perhaps not, but she was another piece of Diana that was stolen from the world, too early and too harshly. Now, I must 'inspect' little John, forcing myself behind an icy façade and pushing away all thoughts that he his my son. Mine and Diana's.

Our visit is private, not official. We arrive quietly and do not make any formal announcements. The kingdom must know by now that her King has lost all hope of John being his son and heir. I am the only man who His Majesty told that he is planning to disinherit the little boy, before he and the new Queen have any children. He will not be a recognised son of the King, let alone head of the Line of Succession. As the housekeeper leads me into a reception room, alone, I think how much he must love and trust his new wife to give him an heir to replace a son who only could be his. Before, the King would have been desperate; he might have conveniently forgotten that John was the child of an affair in order to have his own male heir.

"He adores her, you see Thomas," says a voice from the armchair in the corner. I turn my head and catch sight of Diana, her hair spread over her shoulders like a cape. She is smirking at me. "As much I you adored me, I'd say. It's difficult to believe, I suppose, that my husband could be capable of loving someone as purely as you."
I shudder. "Go away. You're not really here. You're not even my Diana, you're just... you're nothing," I mutter, trying not to look at her.
"What a shame. I thought at least you'd believe me. How am I going to convince everyone else?" she replies, laughing one of those clear, piercing laughs. "I am Diana. There's only one Diana, isn't there?"
"Yes. No. I don't know!" I say. My eyes are drawn to her. She does look exactly as I remember, before the Tower sucked the life out of her. But it's not Diana. I stand up, suddenly riled. "Leave me! Go!" I cry out, waving my hands at her. She only laughs again and sinks further back in the chair.

"My Lord Cromwell? Are you alright?"
The entrance of Princess Margaret, Countess Rochford, startles me. I swiftly turn to her and give a short, flustered bow. "Yes, Your Highness, I am quite well. Just a little fatigued."
She appears concerned. Her face is far too lined for a woman in her thirties, especially around her melancholy blue eyes. Nevertheless, she still has that regal air about her that I thought princesses lose eventually. "Please, sit down My Lord." We both do so. "What is the nature of your visit?"
"Your Highness," I begin, summoning my words from the depths of my soul. Part of me fears that Diana is still sitting behind me, drinking in this scene eagerly. "His Majesty has sent me on an unofficial visit to enquire after the health of... Prince John. His Majesty believes wholly that the boy is not his son and wishes to disinherit him. Unfortunately, I do not know His Majesty's plans for the Line of Succession after this is carried out."