Dirty Secrets

Part 6

When Petie unlocked the heavy steel security door to the third floor, Lyla found Dr. Haden waiting for her in the hallway, a hint of a smile at the corners of her lipsticked mouth.

"What did you tell him? Lyla asked, clasping her jittery hands.

"I told him that you're doing well."

They walked down the corridor toward the Visitor's Room.

"Did you tell him that I'd be coming home soon?"

"We talked about that. That you'd be living at home but returning here during the day for sessions." She gave Lyla a warm smile. "He's looking forward to you coming home."

Lyla took a moment to gather herself, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I look okay?"

"You look fine."

"Are you ready to do this?"

Lyla nodded, cleared her throat, and centered a wide grin on her face.

Dr. Haden knocked on the Visitor's Room door, then opened it. Ryan rose eagerly from his chair and came around the small table to embrace his daughter.

Lyla promised herself that she wouldn't cry but she couldn't help it. Nestled in her father's loving arms, the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Would you like me to stay?" asked the doctor.

"No." Lyla wiped her nose with her sleeve. "We're fine."

She offered a tissue, which Lyla happily accepted. "I'm going to leave the door open," Dr. Haden said before she exited.

"So how's my girl doing?" Ryan's stoicism was paper-thin. His watery eyes betrayed his smile.

"I'm good."

"Yeah?"

Lyla blew her nose then squeaked, "Can I have another hug?"

He drew her tightly against his chest and affectionately stroked her head. "You doing okay in here?" He released her then went to his chair on the opposite side of the table. "You look kinda thin." His voice quavered. He cleared his throat.

"I was gonna say the same about you."

He waved away her remark then asked, "The food's not too good here, right?"

"No. Actually, it's okay."

"You want me to bring anything for you? Anything from home?"

"Yeah. My gray hoodie."

"You don't want that raggedy old thing."

"Yeah, I do."

"With the stains and the—"

"I don't care."

"I'll run it through the wash before I bring it." Ryan directed his eyes to the view through the window. "Turned out to be a nice day."

"Yeah."

"So you're feeling better?"

She nodded.

"Doctor says they got you on some meds that are gonna help you." He noticed the foggy gloss of medication in her eyes. "You don't feel all loopy, do you? I mean, if the medicine's making you feel bad—"

"They just gotta work on getting the right dosage. They do pee checks all the time."

"That's good. I mean that they're keeping an eye on it."

"I'm just worried that I'm missing so much school," she said. "I don't know why they won't let me do some of my school work while I'm here."

"You shouldn't worry about that."

"Hear anything from Darcy?"

"She came by the house one day and asked about visiting. But they got a rule about family only. That's what I told her."

"Well, tell her I said hi and not to worry about me, okay?"

"Sure. I forget that you don't have your phone. You guys texting all the time. Probably miss it."

"Yeah, I do."

"The doctor said that you and her have been talking through a lot of things. And she thinks it's helping."

Lyla nodded.

Ryan let out a mournful sigh and leaned back in his chair. "I shoulda done a better job of talking things through with you after your mom—" His voice cracked. He lowered his head to hide his tears.

She reached across the table, took his hand and squeezed. "We were both so sad, Dad. We still are."

He licked his dry lips.

She added, "What was there to say, anyway?" She handed him her crinkled tissue. He wiped his runny nose.

Ryan cleared his throat before continuing. "But she said it's been a big help for you to talk about it. Get it out of your system. I shoulda—"

"Dad, this isn't your fault. It's not Mom's fault, either. I'm gonna be okay. I feel so much better just seeing you."

He burst out laughing. "Sure doesn't look like I made you feel better."

Lyla smiled. "Well, you actually did. For real."