Hold Me While You Wait

2|while we're still alive

while we're still alive

Elis heard the knock.

It was so faint, so seemingly calculated, that Elis would've missed it had it been only a tad softer.

The knock came again when Elis ignored the first one. It was harder now, more force put behind the action. It was as if the person had convinced themselves that interrupting Elis wasn't a mistake, which did nothing but annoy the curly haired girl.

Elis walked over to open the door, her thoughts of who it was confirmed when, in front of her, stood the ginger girl from downstairs.

Now that she was in front of her, Elis could establish the prominent height difference between the both of them. Gray was barely 5'0 while Elis stood taller at 5'6. Elis pretty much looked down at the smaller girl, oblivious to how her posture and her hard gaze intimidated the living cells out of the younger girl, even though she had told herself to not scurry away as soon as Elis opened the door.

"Hey...Y-you uhm, forgot this." The shorter girl held a spoon to Elis, and that was when Elis realized that she had left the spoon on the table when she grabbed the bowl of cereal earlier on.

Elis stared at the girl for a moment, expressionlessly, and then she reached out to grab it out of her small hands, preparing to shut the door anytime soon.

"That's all?" Elis was surprised but mostly irked by the ginger girl's presence. She didn't quite have the desire for social interactions, which for the moment being, made her not care about the way in which she was treating the girl who had clear intentions of helping out.

"I...uh.. I heard about...your brother." Elis swallowed, but didn't say anything, waiting for Gray to finish whatever it was that she wanted to say. "Do you mind if I get in?"

The shorter girl wasn't sure how Elis would take her request, but to her surprise Elis stepped to the side, allowing the smaller girl entry into her childhood bedroom.

"Wow. I didn't believe your mom when she told me that you still didn't unpack." Gray's eyes fell on the bags still lying on the floor as soon as she walked in.

Elis rolled her eyes, not prepared to have any kind of small talk with anybody. Especially any type of ginger girls who had Gray as a name.

"Look, kid, is there anything else you wanted to say? If not, I'd appreciate it if you left my room. I want to be alone."

Gray's eyes widened, unable to fathom why her heart suddenly beat so quickly in her chest.

Elis had called her kid.

Gray understood that her shortness always led to people thinking that she was much younger than she actually was, so she thought it would be best to clear any kind of misunderstandings.

"I'm sixteen, actually." Elis was only eighteen, but she didn't return the age confession to the ginger girl in front of her.

"Still a kid."

Elis's sharp, harsh reply would've frightened anybody away. But Gray chose to stay, not wanting to give up on the courage she had to find before knocking on the curly-haired girl's door. She wasn't about to throw it out just because she got the reaction she'd expected from Elis.

"I can help you unpack...if that's okay."

Elis would shut her out again. But at this point, the taller girl basically did and said everything she could just so that the smaller girl could realize that she clearly wasn't interested in any kind of interactions.

So Elis sighed, her shoulders losing their defense and slumping down as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Her anger towards her mother for forcing her to return, her hatred for the lake house she had to spend weeks in, her heartache towards being reminded so brutally of Bryson's death. All those emotions came down rushing through her once again, and as the broken girl lost her defence, she felt tears slowly falling down her face.

She hadn't cried at all since arriving the day before, and Elis sarcastically thought that what better way to cry for the first time than to cry in front of a stranger who made it her life goal to meddle in her business.

Gray saw the bigger girl's defence crumbling down in front of her, her walls shattering and witnessing every moment leading up to Elis's breakdown.

She wished to reach out and place a comforting hand on Elis's shoulder, but she didn't want to startle her and cause Elis's walls back up again.

"I'm sorry I..." The taller girl struggled to speak as more tears trickled down her face.

"It's fine. I understand."

Elis wanted to yell, she wanted to get on top of a hill and scream. Screw Bryson for leaving, for making her feel this unrelenting pain in her chest. Screw her parents for bringing her back to the lake house. Screw them again for pretending as if everything was okay and expecting her to be able to move on from everything so easily. Screw Gray for being so nice. For being so freaking nice it nauseated her. Elis wanted to dig herself a hole and disappear. The expectations she felt people had on her were too heavy to handle, too big to live with. She didn't want to live with the pain she felt in her chest, the void that Bryson left that wouldn't ever be filled by anything ever again.

"Would you like a glass of water?" Between the sounds of her sobs, Elis could hear the ginger girl's contemplative voice.

Gray wasn't sure of what she had to do, but at that period in time when the pained girl let out everything she felt, Gray felt horrible, knowing that she couldn't help Elis feel better in any way. But as she looked at the broken girl in front of her...Gray made a silent promise to herself.

She wouldn't ever let Elis cry in her presence again.