Martini Glass (Kelly Severide Love Story)

Fault in Him

"YOU CAN BREAK MY HEART IN TWO, BUT WHEN IT HEALS IT BEATS FOR YOU, I KNOW IT'S FORWARD BUT IT'S TRUE. WON'T LIE, I'D GO BACK TO YOU" 

February is drawing to a close, it's been a weeks since Kelly caught Casey and I, the whole house now learning of our mistake. It couldn't have gotten more awkward if we tried, everything that was once normal has now gone back to hell. 

Kelly has been avoiding me like the plague, only speaking to me when he is ordering me around.

On the bright side, he did let Casey come back and live with him again, but that doesn't mean that Kelly acknowledges him. So far he pretends that we don't exist, no anger to take out on us, not bothering to pay us any attention.

No matter how many times I try to apologise, he always changes the topic to be a job that needs to get done. No longer looking at us in the eye anymore, head down and focusing on the job. 

Casey and I both know it was stupid mistake.

We obviously don't have feelings for one another, we were just in a vulnerable state. Me losing Abigail and all of this reminding of Casey of him losing Louie and later Gabby. Our loneliness took over but we can't take it back, we can only mend bridges. 

Standing by Casey in the kitchen as we watch Kelly walk back inside the firehouse, clipboard in hand as he scribbles something down, making himself much more busy in these past two weeks.

He hasn't been himself.

Hiding out in his office on shift and in his room when off shift.

I really hurt him and I don't know how to make up for it.

"We really messed up" I sigh as we watch him walk away, "you can say that again" Casey feels almost as bad as me. "He talking to you?" I wonder, "no" he shakes his head, "he eats dinner really early and just stays in his room" he adds. 

If he doesn't speak to Casey, and they live together, then I have no chance. 

"You?" He queries.

"Only time he talks to me is to give me instructions" I answer, "that's if he doesn't get one of the other squad guys to relay the message" I add. 

"What are we going to do?" I can't think of anything.

"I don't know" apparently he can't either, "we should probably just give him some time until he is ready to hear our apologies" but I am not good at waiting around. "It's probably best if we keep our distance for a bit as well" I nod to agree as he walks over to sit with Mouch in front of the TV.

"Hey ladies" I sit with the girls, knowing they won't bring me as much drama.

"Hey, no offence but you look rough" Brett comments, "haven't been sleeping" I shrug, "I mean I am just so used to waking up in the middle of the night now" I add.

"I swear I always have to stop myself from jumping out of bed and running into her room which is now just a guest room again" I push my food around with my fork, no longer feeling hungry.

"You made a selfless decision" the girls comfort me, "her grandmother is going to be able to give her more of a normal stable life which is what she needs right now" Brett adds.

"I know but it doesn't stop me from waking up at night" I shrug.

"You know we are here for you if you need us" Kidd wraps an arm around me, "I know" I lean on her, "thank you girls, I really do appreciate it" they smile kindly at me. 

"You guys are probably the only thing I haven't fucked up" I have to chuckle at my own misfortune. 

"Severide still not talking to you?" Brett questions, "he talks to me when he needs to but I might as well be a stranger" I lean in more towards Kidd. "Well you did kind of mess up massively and kiss his best friend" the girls stifle their chuckles.