All She Can Take

T W E N T Y - S E V E N

Whitney's elbow brushed against Sidney as she sat next to her bouncing AJ up and down on his lap. Whitney hadn't left her side since they arrived at the Gala an hour ago. Ever since they each got separated and interrogated by overly enthusiastic philanthropists three years ago at their mother's first gala they made a pact that they would never go through one of these events alone again. 

Usually, Sidney would be grateful for the company but she knew she would have to ditch Whit soon. She needed to talk to her mom. Tanya had made her rounds and spoken to just about everyone in the room. Soon, she would disappear into her bedroom to refresh her makeup and practice her speech before she doled out awards to the donors who opened their wallets the widest in the past year. Sid's eyes trailed her mom as she worked the room, bouncing in and out of conversations.

The pattern repeated. A cluster of people would be talking and sharing and then her mother would enter the circle. All attention would go to her. Yeah, it was her event but the way these people became captivated by whatever she had to say was beyond that. Her presence made everyone around her go quiet. Even Sid.

A frown crept onto Sidney's face.

"Sid? Fix your face." Whitney whispered as she sent AJ up in the air again. His little tailored black suit made him look like a dapper ventriloquist doll. Sidney reached out and straightened his lapel once Whit settled him back on her knee. The seats around their small table were all empty. Tablecloths the color of evergreens rested over each table with large floral centerpieces. The living room had been entirely transformed. It looked nothing like it did the last time Sidney was here. Was it for Christmas?

Her visits were far and few between. The place felt like it had a nasty film hanging over it all the time. It wasn't her home. She'd had no say in picking it. Sid remembered trying to send a college sweatshirt home to Brooklyn for Whitney while she was in college only for it to be returned to sender. She called her mom who told her matter of factly that they moved. To Westchester in fact. Making good on her dads dream, her mother had said. But Sidney was sure that her father never dreamed of the nine-bedroom nine bath behemoth that her mother bought with the settlement from the city. After graduation, she pulled into the driveway and knew instantly that she could never stay there. Her body would never allow her to settle into such a beautiful home purchased from lies.

"Be right back." Sidney pushed herself up from the seat and her floor-length gown swept against her ankles. She couldn't recall the last time she had to wear a dress this fancy or heels that pinched her toes and caused her to sway on her feet. Sid was uncomfortable and longed for the comfort of a hoodie. The sequins on the bodice pricked her arms a bit as she crossed the room. Her mother was on the move. She ascended the winding staircase to the second story, greeting people who mingled on the balcony overlooking the tables below. Sid gathered a bunch of her dress in her hand and followed her. 

The horse de vours she downed over the last two hours did somersaults in her belly. Being nervous to talk to her mother angered her. There was no way it should be like this. People say tragedy is supposed to bring people closer together but no one speaks about how tragedy can create a chasm between people. Sidney was sure that both her and her mother were still grieving six but her mother's grief was somehow sparkly and bound in parties, meetings, and a home with more bathrooms than she could count. Sidney's grief was dark and barely holding on.

On the second floor, Sidney hugged the walls, avoided people the best she could until she reached the room with double doors all the way at the end of the hallway.

She didn't bother to knock but instead turned the knob and slid inside.

"Oh! Why are you sneaking in like that?" Tanya Berry was on the other side of the room, opening the doors to her walk-in closet that was the size of another room itself.