Newtmas oneshots (english)

losing him

Newts pov
The walls are about to close. All gladers are standing in front of the entrance of the maze, unpatiently waiting for our leader and the keeper of the runners to return.

Alby and Minho should be back by now. What happened?

What if they are hurt? What if they are already dead?

Thomas looks at me in confusion. Then he looks to the ground. I follow his gaze and my eyes land on out intertwined fingers.

I must have taken his hand without noticing it. What did I do? I don't want to ermbarrass him infront if everyone.

"Sorry." I mumble while pulling my hand out if his grasp.

"No. It's okay." He smiles at me and grabs my Hand again.

I can't help but blush.

I turn my head to look into the maze again. I see something at the end of the hallway.

"Look!" Thomas shouts and points ,with his finger that doesn't touch mine, into the maze. He must have seen it as well.

And then I could see them. Minho and Alby. I break into a smile but it fades as soon as I notice that something is wrong.

Minho seems to carry Alby.

"Minho! Come on! You can do it!" I shout, noticeable worried.

I hear the doors, which are starting to close. Panic rises inside of me. My vision starts to get blurry.

I will loose my two best friends. The people  I know since I can remember. My brothers that always helped me when I needed them.

I feel Thomas' hand slipping away from mine. I see him taking a step forward into the maze.

"NO! Tommy!" I scream. I try to catch him but my fingers only touch his shirt.

I watch him as he runs through the closing walls in what seems to be slow motion.

They left me. The only gladers that always believed in me are gone. They will be dead by tomorrow.

The worst part of it is, that I never told Tommy that I love him, that he is the only reason I stay strong.

"This stupid shank." Gally turns around to walk away. I feel heat rising into my face from anger.

"Shank? He isn't a shank. Tommy is smarter than you and your builders!" I shout, pointing to the group of the builders.

"Shut up you little faggot!" He comes closer, ready to punch me.

"I'm the leader now. You have to listen to me." I say. I would love to hit him with a brick in the face right now.

But instead I walk away.

I never told Tommy that I love him. He will never know. Probably, he is already dead.

I wanted to tell him how I feel about him every day but I was just a coward. I should have done it when I had the chance.

He died thinking of me as a friend.

I'm pathetic. He is dying and I'm thinking about myself. I always think about myself. The gladers would be better of without me.

Even though the others want me to, I don't eat this evening. Instead I walk to the doors of the maze and lean my forehead against the cold stone walls.

I was sad the whole time but I didn't really realise that I will never see him again, feel his hand touching mine, getting lost in his brown eyes, see his smile, hear him saying my name.

I will never see him again.

Tears start flooding down my cheeks as I lean my back agains the wall and sit down.

I feel how I'm getting tired from crying. Slowly, I close my eyes as the soft wind lulls me into sleep.

I hear a lound noise, making me jump. A few seconds ago I was sleeping but now I'm fully awake.

Suddenly, I feel something moving on my back. I turn around and just now I notice that I am leaning against the maze walls.

I get up, standing infront of the entrance again.

At first I don't remember what happened but after a few seconds, it all comes flooding back.

I feel tears building up in my eyes again.

I am about to find out, if the love of my life lives or not. I didn't even tell him that he is so much more to me than just a friend.

I need him so much.

The other gladers join me and now we are about ten people waiting for our friends to return.

"Unbelieveable." Zart whispers almost inaudibly.

I look closer only to see Thomas and Minho, carrying Alby.

"Tommy!" I croak out, my voice hoarse from crying. Tears are streaming down my face again.

I freeze. I want to move, hug him, kiss him, tell him that I love him but I can't move.

When Thomas stands a few centimeteres infront of me, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You... h-how?" I am very confused. Did he really just survive a night in the maze?

He doesn't respond, he just hugs me.

"You are alive."

"Yes. I am alive. For you."

"What?" What does he mean? For me?

"I just didn't give up because I knew you werin here, waiting for me." He admits.

Slowly we lean forwards until our lips touch. The kiss is feather like at first but now I can feel his emotions and I'm sure he
can feel mine as well.

I feel sadness but also happieness and ... love.

I pull away and look into his beautiful eyes.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?" I blush at his question. My heart starts beating faster.

"No, you idiot." I reply.

"Well, I do."

"Really?"

"Of course I do."

"I love you too, Tommy."

It doesn't feel real at all but I do know that it is, when he kisses me again. This time with so much passion, that it can't be one of my dreams about him again.