"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
Rosa walked into the bullpen, wearing a bright pink top. She dropped her stuff off at her desk, Charles watching her closely.
"Oh, my God" you said.
"Rosa's wearing pink. Rosa's wearing pink" said Jake.
"Are we sure it's not a white shirt that's just been bloodied in a motorcycle crash?" asked Amy.
"Maybe it wasn't her. Does she have a twin sister?" asked Terry.
"If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb" said Gina.
"Wait. Hold up. Stop. How come none of you teased her about it?" asked Charles, confused.
"It's Rosa. She's scary" Jake answered.
"You guys are unbelievable. I once wore a tie with a splash of purple. You guys called me Mr Grapes for two years" Charles said.
"Oh, Mr Grapes" said Gina as everyone laughed. "I forgot about Mr Grapes."
"If I wore a pink shirt, you'd tear me to shreds" Charles said.
"Well, yeah, but you'd look like a My Little Pony with a gun" Jake said.
"Let me guess. Your theater club is putting on Grease, and you're playing a pink lady" said Terry.
Everyone laughed as Rosa walked back into the bullpen. "What are you guys laughing at?"
"If Boyle was wearing a pink shirt" you said.
"I get it. That's hilarious" said Rosa.
"What's happening?" asked Charles. "Rosa's the one wearing pink."
"And?" asked Rosa threateningly.
"It's gorgeous. I wish I could pull it off" Charles said nervously.
"Dream on, Strawberry Shortcake" Rosa said.
"Yeah, nice try, Mr Grapes" said Jake.
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Holt pressed a button that changed the picture on the screen. "Last night, several masked men robbed a number of check cashing locations in our precinct. They also hit several locations in the Nine-Three, so this will be a joint investigation. Detective David Majors in already on the case."
"Whoa" you said.
"Dave Majors? Seriously?" asked Jake.
"Who's that?" asked Gina.
"He's the best detective in the NYPD, myself included" Jake said.
"His arrest numbers are staggering. His conviction rates are magificent. He is blotter dynamite" said Amy. "I mean, I'm cool. I'm just hanging out with you guys."
"Okay, but what's his body like from a scale from Charles to Terry?" Gina asked.
"Sorry, buddy" said Charles to Terry.
"What? I'm the ten" Terry said.
"Sure you are" Charles said.
"He's like a seven. Maybe an eight" you said after some thought.
"Majors does just fine. His girlfriend is the weather lady from Channel Five. You know, the one who's always reaching for Cooperstown?" said Jake.
Scully whistled. "Love her."
"Well, I need someone to partner up with him" said Holt.
"Me!" you said, putting your hand up at the same as Amy and Jake.
"Ooh, me, me, me, me, me" said Jake excitedly.
"Oh, I'll do it" Amy said.
"Sir, with all respect, I'm the obvious choice. I mean, look at me. I'm not in profile" said Jake.
"Sir, please let the record show that the sauce on his face is from yesterday. And it is that level of observation that I plan to bring to -" said Amy.
"No, I want to do it because Majors is a really good detective" you said.
"Enough. Santiago, you're working on that big case with Diaz, you can't do it. Peralta, l/n, you can both work the case. Three heads are better than two. Also, I fear any other decision I make will just result in further noise" said Holt.
"Good call, sir. I was about to start chanting 'Vote for Jake'" said Jake.
"Let's do it anyway" Charles said. "Vote for Jake. Vote for Jake.""
"Dismissed" Holt said, walking out the room.
"Yeah" said Charles.
------------------------
Jake walked towards the police tape and ducked underneath. He stood up and took off his sunglasses. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? Oh, Majors isn't here yet? I wasted all that coolness on a bunch of nobodies. I'm just gonna reset." He imitated a robot whirring and put his sunglasses back on.
"Jake, if Majors was as good is his arrest rates say, he's not going to be impressed by your sunglasses" you said.
"Fine, what are you going to impress him with?" asked Jake.
"Uh, like I said, he's not going to be impressed by anything other than good detective work" you said.
"Shut up. Shut up. He's here" said Jake as Majors ducked underneath the tape.
"Hey, you must be the Nine-Nine. I'm Majors" said Majors.
"Hey, I'm Peralta. This is l/n" Jake said, shaking Majors' hand.
You also shook Majors' hand, smiling at him.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" asked Jake, taking off his sunglasses.
You ignored him. "I looked into the baby masks the perps were wearing, and no stores in the tri-state area sell them."
"Reminds me of a murder I worked a few years back. Perp always wore these weird masks. We couldn't figure out where he bought them. Turns out he was making his own masks from human skin" said Majors.
"No. That is so awesome" you said.
"Really, y/n? For whom? Sounds to me like those face masks were once somebody's face... Faces" Jake said.
"That's true, Peralta. I think about that every day" said Majors.
"You and me both" said Jake, putting his sunglasses back on.
You glared at Jake.
"Okay, I'm gonna look around, take a few statements" said Majors.
"Juicy. Juicy. Good call. Good call" Jake said.
"Yep, yep, yep" you said as Majors walked away.
"Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight. Well, looks like round one goes to Peralta. And don't worry, I'm just getting warmed up. I still have eight sunglasses moves locked and loaded. Make that nine. A-whee" said Jake, pulling his sunglasses down his nose.
