Chapter 40

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Elijah felt like a stranger to her.

"I don't know him," said Natanya, staring out the window. "It seems like I say that a lot. I definitely didn't know him well enough at first. That's why we cut things off for so long. Took like a year for things to feel normal again. With this? I never would have thought Elijah capable of doing that to someone so close to us."

"That's the problem, with caring so much," said Cami from behind her. "Sometimes, it leads people to be reckless. Elijah cares. He does. He adores you. From his perspective, he was just trying to avenge you. It was Lucien's fault that you were turned into something you didn't want to be."

Natanya let out a harsh breath. "Elijah once told me that he didn't think loyalty was dangerous in every situation. But here, I guess it was. Davina had to suffer so the Mikaelsons could live. And hoorah for them, I guess Elijah does have the weight of thousands of vampires on his shoulders, 'cause he's still linked to his sirelings. There had to be another way. This can't have possibly been the only solution. Everything has loopholes. We were safe in that house. Davina could have been brought back and Lucien wouldn't have been able to get in. If Rebekah hadn't been buried out in the Bayou, Hayley and Klaus would have never come across him."

"The past can't be changed," mentioned Cami. "But the future can. What is it that you want Elijah to know? I think you should plan for when you inevitably have to talk to him."

"I don't want to talk to him. I really don't. I asked him to promise me that he'd never kill someone innocent, and he did. He broke it, and with someone who was close to us. How do I look past that? Not to mention he... he literally tried to brainwash me into being okay with it, because he couldn't handle the fact I was angry at him."

"From what I've heard, Elijah likes control, with his own life. He likes order. He likes the air of nobility and being what people look up to. It's why he hid his crimes behind a red door. Locking them away so he wouldn't be judged for it. The guy's afraid of being judged. Of having people see his true colors. And he saw you in shock, and furious, and he did something horrible, yes. Which I'm sure he will acknowledge. Use this as a way to get him to comply with getting rid of this mate bond."

Natanya groaned. "I'd rather just do what Klaus suggested and have you and a witch rework stuff in my brain so I don't feel like I have to listen to him."

"We could do that. But I think you should see if there's something Elijah can do, first. Maybe he can say the words like, 'What I want is for you to always do what you think you should do, and not what I tell you.'"

"Yeah, that won't work, 'cause as soon as he changes his mind and wants to give me some other command, my brain will leap at the chance to fulfill his wishes." She sighed. "But I guess I should at least... be honest with him about all my feelings. Even if they're negative. I can't be with him if things are gonna be like this."

She'd gone over to the Compound, but found Elijah wasn't there. Instead, she found Kol, sitting in his room, staring at the wall.

"You alright?" she asked, leaning in the doorway.

He just snorted. "No. My girlfriend was buried today, and the two siblings that killed her didn't have the gall to show up at her funeral and pay their respects."

"I see. Dumb question on my behalf, then. I'm sorry. Do you know where Elijah is?"

"Haven't the faintest idea. I don't keep tabs on him."

She pursed her lips. "Well, thanks anyway. I'm gonna just... go."

"How the bloody hell does one move past this?" he asked before she could leave. "You've lost many people in your life."

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