Bloody Symphony | Elijah Mikaelson

Chapter 43

Snapping her neck was the only thing that helped.

She'd tried calming teas. She'd tried drinking a bit more blood and meditating. She tried turning into a wolf and running until she was so exhausted, she couldn't even think of being angry or sad.

She'd even gone as far as to go into Algiers to see a therapist. The poor woman had to be compelled to forget everything she'd said, because even after explaining it and compelling her to understand without fear, nothing made sense. The therapist had no idea how to help her stop these visions, she could really only pitch ideas.

"It may be something that must be waited out," the woman told her. "I don't understand how far back this mystical bond between wolves goes. It might last a few weeks, while you re-adjust to being single. It might last as long as the mate bond did, which you said was five years. It may take a decade. Or, it may be gone tomorrow if you just 'choose.' The visions aren't real. Perhaps if you pick, they'll stop."

"But what if that has a negative effect?" asked Natanya. "What if I pick Klaus, hypothetically, and my crazy inner wolf possesses me and makes me kill her? And what if I pick Elijah and fuck things up even more by begging him to take me back? I love him. I love him so much that it hurts me. I feel like I'll fall apart, not being at his side all the time. And there's so much more to it... all the warnings I ignored... it feels like I went in too deep and now I'm struggling to get back to the surface. We have so much history at this point and I just want... I want to be with him, but..."

"But you wish to be with him on your terms," said the therapist. "You want him to act the way you think is right, even though part of the reason he does certain things is because he felt it was the right thing for you. He loved you so much he went to the extreme, and it led him to start losing more and more control each time. So he tried to grasp it. He tried to command you. That's the problem. You both want to control each other to protect the other, you both want to fix each other and make the other be okay with their dark side. The thing is, you do bring out the darkness in each other. And right now, this darkness is taking a massive hold on you. It's dragging you down. I don't know what else to say. You have to either take the risk and succumb, and see what happens, or you have to keep fighting it."

Natanya chose to keep fighting it. No way in hell was she going to say 'Klaus' or 'Elijah.' No matter what she said, someone would get hurt. She feared it would manifest into something horrible, and she'd be stuck with the consequences.

So, she went to see the only other person she felt could help.

"Grandma Mary," she said with a slight smile. "Hi."

"You look like hell," the old woman observed. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I don't really know. I don't need to sleep though... vampire side and all."

"That's what confuses me, 'cause you've got bags under your eyes."

Natanya frowned, and went inside, going to stand in front of the mirror, seeing Mary was right. "Oh. Well..."

"Something's bothering you, isn't it?" said Mary, going to her stove to make her some tea.

"Please, no more of that," said Natanya, pointing at the kettle. "Coffee is fine."

Mary tsked. "I'm drinking tea, so are you, unless you just want hot water. I ain't got coffee beans right now."

Natanya drank tea.

"Go on," said Mary, leaning back in her chair once they were sitting down. "What is it?"

"Elijah rejected me," she said. "To break the bond."