The Egg - DabiHawks [DISCONTINUED]

The Egg: P2.4 - I'M BACK BITCHES

yes, back, but only temporarily. im sorry.

anyway here ya go

___

Jin slapped the newspaper on the kitchen table, shaking his head but trying not to laugh.

"Man, you're down bad," he said. "If Keigo sees this, you're dead."

The headline stated:
WOMAN REPORTS PREDATOR SEEN AT LOCAL PARK, KEEP YOUR KIDS INDOORS,

accompanied with a photo of a man dressed in black waving a bag of something - the seeds - at a fat winged child in the air.

Dabi rolled his eyes as he sipped his bitter coffee. He had finally gotten the kids to sleep since they were bored of Keigo being punched on screen, but Mirko still hadn't come back, so he decided to call Jin over to have some nice villanous company.

"Well shit. Half my skin's burnt off and been stapled back on. I'm practically dead already."

Yeah, but this?" Jin sat down, pointing at him in the photo. "I instantly knew that was you. Who else has bird-children and dresses in all black? Fuckin' emo bitch."

"I like black."

"That's not the point. Shut up, idiot. Your Hato goes to school right? So everyone in his class knows this kid with wings. Then, if they or their parents see this, they're gonna be like: "ayo, could they be related?" and want to find out whose kids they are and get suspicious about why they never see Hato's parents at school. And if they find out that the kid's dad was called a "predator" in the newspaper, and that he's a villan-" Jin puffed out his cheeks. "The public is gonna go mad. Especially when they find out Hawks - none other than the Number Two Hero - is the other father. That's a lotta shit to handle."

"I don't care," Dabi said. He got up from the table and began to wash his mug in the sink. "They're gonna have to find out at some point. We can't be living such a private life forever, it's not...healthy for the kids."

Jin snorted. "Well that's a surprise. What do you know about being healthy?"

"No need for sarcasm. I'm being serious."

"You're never serious. Only depressed."

Dabi gave him a look.
"Thanks."

It was quiet for a few moments, as both men didn't quite know what to say. The conversation was serious adult talk that children would find boring, almost too serious for the story, but comical enough to be tolerated.

After a few minutes Riku crawled into the kitchen, his eyes lightning up when he saw Jin.

"Hey there, buddy," the villan said, smiling. He was unmasked, so yes, Riku could see him smiling. "You wanna come up here?"

Riku nodded and made grabby hands so Jin picked him up and sat him on his lap, holding his hands and singing a nursery rhyme. He was practically a kid himself.

"Ring a ring a roses, a pocket full of poses-"

"Not that one," Dabi immediately said, stopping him. "That song gives me the creeps."

Jin smirked.

"...Don't."

Jin grinned.

"Jin, no-"

Jim then proceeded to sing the rhyme extra slowly, watching Dabi wince in disgust.

"STOP IT. You're just like Mirko," Dabi snapped, covering his scarred ears.

Jin laughed, making Riku laugh too. "But you actually joined in with Mirko that time."

"And how would you know that?"

Jin's smile dropped.

"Jin...how exactly did you know?" Dabi asked, saying each word carefully. He could sense something was not right.

"...Um." Jin cleared his throat. "Baby cam?"

Dabi took a deep breath.

"Jin, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING OUR KIDS THROUGH THE BABY CAM?!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT I SWEAR-"

"YOU FUCKIN PEDOPHILE."

"IT'S NOT HARD TO HACK THE SYSTEM-"

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS."

"IT WASN'T ME!"

Dabi sighed irritably. "Then who was it?"
"It was Spinner. Shigaraki told him to. Boss's orders, yaknow."

Dabi glared. "Why? Just why?"

Jin shrugged, placing Riku on the table so he could get up. The baby had also been pulling hairs out of his stubble which was getting slightly annoying, and Jin rubbed his chin as he thought.

"Well...the League now knows what a great voice you have. You looked like a clown." The villan laughed again after he said it, making Dabi frown.

"Shut up. That was...a one time thing. I hate singing."

"This video says otherwise."

Uh oh, Dabi thought, knowing what was to come. Or at least, a bad idea of it.

Jin took out his phone and scrolled through the photos in his gallery. Dabi noticed they were mostly dumb selfies with Toga, depressing quotes, or memes. Eventually he stopped on a video and pressed it, turning the volume up.

Dabi watched in shock as Jin pressed a button on a keyboard in front of an old-looking computer with a recording that seemed to be paused, but as soon as that button was pressed, he could immediately hear his voice yelling lyrics out and see Mirko twerking on the table. It looked like a mad house. In the background of the video he could hear laughing and giggles from Toga.

"That bunny hero is thicc," Spinner remarked, immediately getting slapped by Shigaraki.

"Shut up, no she isn't. She's just average." (MIRKO STANS WHERE YOU AT?!?!)

Kurogiri, who was looking over the small group of people gathered around the computer, sniffed disapprovingly.
"I do not think that this song is very appropriate," he said, as Dabi sang 'shoot a child in your mouth while I'm riding'.

Shigaraki groaned. "Whatever, mom," the crusty man said, rolling his eyes. "Hey, look at the little one!"

Then the camera zoomed in on one part of the screen where they saw Riku also twerking, and everyone laughed even harder.

"Aww, he's so cute! He'd look amazing covered in blood!"

"What a sight that would be. Jin, you better not let Toga anywhere near those children!" Compress told him.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I can easily keep her under control," Jin said, making the camera shake a bit.

Then suddenly, after a flash of blue, the screen with the recording went off and everyone exclaimed.

"No, I must see more! This is the only thing that entertains me these days," Shigaraki hissed, grabbing the mouse and clicking repeatedly, then cursing and swearing as it disintegrated in his hand.

"Well I want to see the baby!" Toga screeched. There was a blur as something launched itself at the computer and the sound of Jin yelling at Toga to stop was the last thing said before the video ended.

Now, Jin looked at Dabi, beaming.

"That," the scarred villan began. "Was fucking chaotic."

___

so thats all ive done and im sorry

just fuck the Christmas special, Keigo's birthday, and Dabi's birthday.

anyway while ive been away i was allowed my phone and ive written some chapters for another story about the league of villans (including hawks) doing dumb shit, so i might (HOPEFULLY) be posting that. dunno when though.