Bit**es Get Stitches

Bring it on!

I didn't sleep very well last night, had the meeting on my mind, but it went just as I expected it to.

Queeny is team lead and her issue with me was that she has been feeling undermined because I questioned her twice. She lied about the fact that I asked her infront of the children.

Long and short of it is, we are a team and there is a hierarchy of who can say something and when.

What I should have done was questioned her once, but I asked her three times, away from the child.
Let me explain what happened
The child had tooth ache and was prescribed antibiotics that were very strong.
I asked Queeny if we should carry on giving them if her reaction is so severe.
She said "I've sought professional advice from people more professional than yourself and I, and they said yes."

As the girl was given more meds and was still reacting, I was wondering why they couldn't have stopped the meds as it was affecting the child's mental state, which she already has issues with.

I said to Queeny, "as a mum I wouldn't put my kid through that. I'd stop the meds" again, I said this away from the child.

She has taken my motherly fears and used them to say I am undermining her decisions. But what makes one feel undermined?

This is the dictionary definition of undermined

"to make (someone or something) weaker or less effective usually in a secret or gradual way She tried to undermine my authority by complaining about me to my boss."

If I go by this definition, no one even knows I said anything to Queeny, and I said it to her alone.

I knew the conversation today would be basically about " you guys are professionals, let's close this chapter and move forward"

I have promised myself that I am never ever going to ask her anything more than once, and when I do ask her, I am going to say" I am asking this strictly out of concern, or to learn or whatever the reason is at that time.

I am also going to keep a secret diary of all the times she niggles away at me, and how I dealt with it.

The same way we document what the children's concern are, the same way I'll be documenting my own concerns.

As the conversation came to an end, I stood up and apologised, "So Queeny, Im sorry for anything that I said or done," she said something like "that's fine, you just go for a swim and take it out on the water, and not me"

Totally not acknowledging that she should have apologised too. But to do appologise, she should have felt she done something wrong, which narcissists never do.

The last time I spoke to the manager she told me that she has rarely had an apology from Queeny, so I wasn't really expecting one.

Once I left the building and was on my way to talk to myself in my car, I saw a little old man who was wearing yellow boots, like fake Timberlands, that were too large for him and had no laces in them.

The man seemed too old to be out on his own.
He had a red jacket on with a yellow rim at the zip edges. It had old food stains all the way down the jacket, as if he sits in that jacket and eats his meals. Maybe the house is too cold, and due to the fuel price hike he must keep the jacket on or he will freeze.

He smelt like old lonely people, musty, unkempt, unloved and uncared for.

I asked him if he was ok; he said yes, that he's going to the garage to fix his car.
There was no way this wee old man was still driving.

I walked him across the road to the mechanics, and asked the mechanic if the old man's car was at his garage. The old man seemed confused. He put his hand into his pocket to show us his address, as we were trying to find out where he came from.
That's when he pulled out all these crispy light purple twenty pound notes.

I took the money from his hand and put it into his jumper pocket and zipped it up.

I didn't know what to do. Should I take him to his house?
What if no one is there? Then what will I do?

I asked my manager and we decided that I should take him to the police station.

I drove ten minutes to the police station and the old man knew I wasn't going the right way.
He said this isn't the right way" I didn't want him to worry, so I said; I don't know what your address is, so I'll ask the police man. He seemed relaxed with my answer.

The police were as helpful as they normally are. I asked the police man if he could watch me count the man's money, as I didn't trust anyone alone with him had I to leave him.

The police man said that there isn't much he can do. That at the most all they would do is call an ambulance, that he might be here for a few hours.

I told the police man that I would take him home as I wouldn't want my dad sat somewhere for three to six hours at ninety-five years old.

The police man checked the old man had keys with him and that we had an address and off we went.

I drove him to his address, it was very hard to make out where the actual house was.
He lived on a main road, but the house was through his sons shop.
I looked at the side of the house, you could tell it was one of these hoarding houses, where no woman had lived in for dinosaur years.

The old man said we should go in through the front.
He opened the front door, the lights were off and the place smelled of old men, cold, old lonely men who didn't have any wives or any warmth in their lives.

The son appeared from the back.
"Did you know your dad was missing?" I said
" yeah, yeah, he always causes me trouble, for 10 years he's been causing me trouble, go now, you can go away!"

I was scared at what his son might say to him, as he was  horrible to me. What would he be like with his dad now that a stranger had just brought him back home.

There was no care the old man had been gone. Maybe the son was waiting to hear the news of "Old man found dead near Tesco" And when he saw his dad return with a stranger he was raged.

I drove off worried that this little old man may not be safe at home, so I called the police to ask them if they could do a welfare check on the old man.

The police took all my details and the old man's details, but I still don't know if they have been over to check if he is safe.

I had my whole day planned before I went to work. I was going to go to the meeting at work, then swimming, then shopping, then home to cook for the boss.

But God had different plans, instead God had decided that I was to spend my time with this little man.

I think he came as a lesson in perspective, "In this life, one day you wake up and you don't know where you are, or why you are there, you are fed up and tired, but you must ride it out. He has to ride life out until he dies, and I have to ride this job out until I qualify. Until the untrained becomes trained and has the resilience to cope.

Thats why Queeny has been picked for my test. Queeny is going to help me conquer my fears. I will learn through Queeny that I have the right to feel hurt when they are being sly with me, that I can't prove what they have done, but the truth will reveal itself. These sly actions others use to hurt you should be spoken about there and then, people need to face the truth and show others that there are consequences to being crafty and manipulating.

From now on, I am going to be a Bee- aaaaa-ttcchh back, but have it all documented like a good girl.