If Only

Fifty Four

Charlotte Crawford

2 months later....

Holding her in her arms was the best feeling. Sitting in the nursery in the rocking chair with her snuggled into me was the best feeling. Mary Caroline was still so small in my arms grasping onto my brown hair

"Are you mummy's little girl" the sounds of my voice made her smile as she slightly moved. She was the cutest little thing in her little blush pink onesie her aunt Belle bought her

The summer rain outside grew louder as the storm passed through the city. I always loved mornings like these but now they were extra special with her here. Feeling a set of eyes on me I looked to see him leaning against the door frame staring at me "thought I'd let you sleep"

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around, you should be getting the rest" he came into her nursery pulling a stool in-front of us "you ready for tonight?"

The tears welled in my eyes at the thought alone "I don't want to leave her alone, she's been with me since I had her" we had a gala to attend tonight, the first time we'd step away from Mary Caroline since birth

I personally was more nervous to go out in my mom body. I lost weight though Nate didn't want me to, he loved me no matter what I looked like. But I couldn't help but let my insecurities cloud my judgement

"Sometimes it's good to step out, spend the night with my wife dancing and drinking" I giggled at the thought of it "you've never seen me drunk, what if you hate me, find me invincibly annoying after one too many glasses of wine"

"Easy fix I send you in a car home and have Celine tuck you to bed" I scoffed, he would just ship me off that easily "I'm only kidding tesoro, I don't know how scared I should be?"

"You know I barely drink, but a three glasses of champagne may just do the trick" I looked back down to little Mary Caroline and handed her to Nate "aren't you supposed to be working?" I glanced at the time

"I had to shuffle through some deals late last night so I get the day with my baby girl and the official and rightful CEO of Bartlett Publishing Company" I dropped the lilac purple blanket I was clutching as the smile formed on his face

"Me and Harrison negotiated, I basically forced him out. Baby it's all yours, do what you please with it when your ready to return. For now I have people in place for you waiting for you to come back some day" I brought my hand to my mouth allowing a soft chuckle to escape

"You got your company back, I couldn't be more proud. You can still do freelance for papers but, it'll be sitting there waiting there for you when your ready"

"Just when I think I couldn't love you anymore, you go and do something such as this" my hand made its way to my chest as it heated "I don't know how I found myself so lucky" he intertwined his hand in mine

"I like the way your hand fits in mine" my cheeks turning into an embarrassing shade of crimson as he spoke "you always make me blush so god damn much"

"It's cute" MC placed her head to his nipple opening her mouth causing us both to burst into laughter "how could she possibly be hungry again I just fed her" another fear of mine

I was Mary Caroline's main food source, I would be leaving her here with bottles and not me. I wasn't against bottle feeding I just didn't want her to get confused or used to bottle feeds.

"I'll feed her" he passed me her as I adjusted my top allowing her to latch onto me "what time do I have to be ready by?"

"Four and then we will leave, you should expect someone at the door. I have to quickly go finish up a deal with my father Leonardo then him and Celine will come to watch Care" he drew his hand up from my shoulder through my hair pulling me in for a kiss