Falling for Em

Cocktail Party (E)

POV Emma

Miss brown is looking so damn gorgeous. Like a model. She's so hot, it makes me nervous as hell. I think she noticed it. I can't believe she looked in my sketchbook. She must have seen the drawing I made of her. She doesn't mention it, but I am sure she saw it. Now we're sitting here, in silence.

"Where are you staying tonight?" She asks me. "Here?" I shake my head "no, Will rented out the rooms. I'll find a solution" she looks at me. She gets a bit closer. "I've got a spare room. nobody uses it. You can sleep over, until we've found you a better place. You'll be free to go whenever you want, look at it like roommates"  I hesitate "you sure?" "It is much better than the bench you're using from time to time" "that's true" I admit smiling.

We walk over to the parking lot as she looks at me "what did you want to tell me? At the bar? Before William interrupted us?" I feel my cheeks burning, I wanted to tell her how beautiful she is, but I can't tell her that. She's my teacher. I'm nervous again. Come on, get a grip. I feel her eyes burning on my face. Luckily she stops at a car. She unlocks it. "This is not the car you use to get to school" "no, it is not" "nor the car you drove with last time" "correct" "did you borrow it?" "No" she smiles. We get in and drive off" We don't really say much during the ride.

We stop in front of a gigantic gate. It opens and miss brown drives through it. She parks next to 3 other cars. Two of them I've seen already. Are they all hers? It is a separate part from the rest of the cars. I am in shock. What is this? I look around. "You can still go home if you'd rather go" "you're already changing your mind aren't you? I get it, I'll find another solution" "no, you're not getting rid of me that easy, just want to make sure you know that I don't want to push you in doing anything you don't want to do" I nod.

We get out and I follow her to this big elevator doors. She gets in, pushes on the top button which has no number on it and enters a code. The doors close and elevator starts moving. It only takes several seconds before it comes to a stop and the doors open again to reveal an enormous room. We get out the elevator. Wow. Where are we?

"Welcome, make yourself at home" "this is your home?" She nods. "Why are you even teaching? You clearly don't need to work" she smiles carefully. "I've got my reasons. Besides, sitting at home all day long, every day isn't as pleasing as it sounds. Believe me." "Do they know this at school?" She shakes her head "no"

"So... if you want to shower, go that way" she points at a hallway a few meters next to the elevator. I has about 5 doors. "The second door on your left is the first spare room, if you enter you'll see the bathroom for that bedroom. If you prefer a bath, you can use mine. But you need to go through my room. That's the first door on your left. When entering my room you'll see my bed on the left. On the right you can see an opening. If you walk in you'll have the bathroom on the right and my dress room on the left."

I nod a lot and alternates my nodding with "uhu's" and "okay's" I want her to know I am listening but it is all so overwhelming. "Thank you miss brown" "Natasha, outside of school you can call me Natasha" I stop walking when I pass a big canvas hanging on the wall. It is beautiful. "You've got a lot of art in here" "yeah, my dad was a collector" she says. She joins me handing over a glass of wine "as a teacher, I can't give you this. But as your roommate I can because you're eighteen" "thanks" I murmur.

Miss brown goes over to the wall, presses something, strolls to the couch and sits down. As her butt touches the couch, a fireplace appears in the wall. I'm still standing and turning around. She notice I'm not feeling comfortable "you can sit down... or not... you can do whatever you want... mi casa es su casa"

"Are those your parents?" I ask pointing at a picture next to the fireplace. "Yeah, they died in a car accident a few years ago. And if it makes you feel better, yes, they didn't leave me empty handed."

I feel a bit guilty "I'm sorry I didn't mean to disrespect you" "I know, I just want to make sure your opinion of me won't change. I'm still myself" "your boyfriend?" I point at the second picture on the wall. She shakes her head "husband then?" "So many questions about my personal life, that means I can ask you some question in a little while? ... that's my brother. He moved out when our parents died. He lives in Thailand. I often talk to him, but I haven't seen him in a while.... I am single at the moment." She says smiling. "William, Taylor and Miss green will be glad to hear so"

"I actually hope someone else will take this info by heart." "Oh, who?" She doesn't respond. "I think it is my turn to ask you some questions, enough about me" I already know what she's about to ask. I try to come up with some excuses but I am too stressed to think. I sit down and she shuffles closer. She looks at me, lays her hand on my leg "tell me, what is going in in your life?" I turn my head and look outside. She lifts her hand, takes my chin and moves my head towards hers. "Be yourself, don't pretend to be this cool badass chick hoe doesn't give a fuck about life. Show me the true you, show me what you're feeling.... Please?" 

I sigh and take a deep breath. My throat is getting dry so is sip from my wine, clear my throat and start my story "my real dad left when I was little. I've never really known him. My mom never talked much about him. She'd get sad if I asked about him so I just didn't. When I was ten she met a new man. My current stepdad. We never got a long but he just accepted my presence. He ignored me most of the time which was fine by me. About half a year ago my mom died from cancer. She had been fighting it for 2 years. "

"The first year I had some help from a nurse and will, the second year it was just will and I. My step dad never really helped. He started drinking as soon as we got the news. Doctors were very clear, it was already spread over her whole body and every treatment was just to extend her life, but it wouldn't give her better life expectations. My step dad got really stressed and usually he focuses at work and leaves for a few weeks. But when he gets back, he focuses on booze and drugs. He gets violent and needs to take it out on something ... or someone"

I look at her to see how she's coping with my story. I can't really tell. She is all ears and looking at me so I continue

"He lives in my mother's house, which is in my name. But until I'm 19 he can stay in it. that's how she wanted it. My mom left me enough to live by myself and as soon as I am nineteen I can sell the house and use the money to get myself a smaller place. It will leave me enough to get my life back on rails... the moments my stepdad is working, I live at home. When he is home, I get out. Everything about me is reminding him of my mother which makes him mad. I get in his face a lot with all that entails. I try to find a place to stay so he can't touch me."

"Those moments you're not coming to school?" She asks. I nod "Correct. I didn't want to make it any harder on him. Most of the times he is away for about 8 weeks and returns only one. But now he took an assignment not far from home so he decided to stay home for the endurance of the assignment. Which is a month."

"Why don't you just leave for good?" "That house, and everything in it is all I have left from my mother, I just have to wait a few months" "and will?"

"He knows, he already told the story about how we met. Ever since we are inseparable. He would like to kick my stepdads ass but I don't let him. Most of the times I can crash at his place and he wants me to move in indefinitely. He also has a position in his company if I want but he supports me in graduating first. And he understand I can't leave my mother's house yet"

Miss brown looks at me "This is pretty heavy. Why didn't you get help? Like professional help?" "I don't want to bother anyone, I'll find a solution. I always do" "you shouldn't cope with such things alone" she leans back, pulls me against her body and wraps her arms around me.

"You know, we should go to the police and turn your stepdad in, he is abusing you. But I get you, I know you don't want to do that now so I'm willing to give you the time you need for us to go to the cops. In the meantime I don't want you to go home. I want you to stay here with me or at wills. You are more than welcome her. You know the way, you know the code to get up here" she loosens her grip and looks me in the eyes "let me help you please"

I look in her eyes, divert my eyes to her lips, and look up again. Our heads are getting closer. She's biting her lower lip while looking at mine. We are only a few inches apart when her phone rings.

She looks at it and takes the call "hello?" "Babe, this really isn't the right time, I can't talk now" I feel a shame, is she involved with someone? This isn't the first time she's calling with someone she addresses as babe. I need to get out of her sight. I sign to her and try to tell her I am heading to the bathroom,. She nods understanding.