The plane landed, that's it am here , but why do I still feel scared.... I was so tired I couldn't even pick up my stuff , but I had to . I finally finished with the whole airport procedures , that's when the taxi picked me up. Right behind the car was the furniture truck. When we finally arrived to my house I felt weird almost like I was about faint but I had to use all the energy that I had left to unpack.
Most of my furniture were here but some of them would arrive sometime this week , I had no bed not even a mattress so I had to sleep on that tiny sofa that I bought in one of those old furniture stores, at least it was better than sleeping on the flore . We are in mid july so it's pretty hot outside but luckily my house is just cold enough to feel comfortable. That night I slept like a baby I was so tired and I felt so numb to the excitement of having my own little house , I guess I just have to adjust .
The next day ,early in the morning
I woke up to the sound of the car running down the streets , but to be honest it wasn't that bad , I just realised how beautiful the neighborhood was , all the house next and in front of me looked so nice , I presume that each house has a family....and well here I am alone in this empty place that I somehow have to fill with love alone .. I did not belong here but hey what can you do . I had to learn things all over again , by my self .
I knew I had neighbours ,teenagers kids and adults were walking out the door every day and well I was still inside sceard to go out , I knew my social anxiety would take over at some point
But I decided to fight it "do not get trapped in your pain" I told my self over and over again,
The truck that was supposed to send me my car arrived, and it felt like a perfect opportunity to go vist the neighborhood and Boston .
I saw all sorts of thing such as flowers trees beautiful house and of course people, a lot of people , this feeling wouldn't go away , this thing in my chest , I could feel it .
I was scared to move on and forget him and I was scared to fall back to those awful times when most of myself was eaten by fear anxiety and anger I was scared to be alone.... "alone" such a small word and yet it terrifies me .
I decided to go home I didn't wanted to see everything and everyone just yet I wasn't even sure if I could possibly adjust in a week
As I parked my car in front of my house , I saw 3 boys all brunette with their hair falling down to their eyes they , they all looked the same , I thought I had an illusion but no they were all real and indeed looked the same , they were all laughing , one of them saw me stepping out of my car ...he saw me straight in the eye ......I panicked I freaked I couldn't breathe not only because he saw me but because he CALLED ME !!!
"hey" one shouted from the other side of the road. Are they talking about me !!??, did they call me or am just starting to imagine things. But no another shouted 'hey" even louder and that's when I totally lost it . I ran out straight to door , desperately trying to find the fucking keys so I can get in
What just happened!!!!? I totally freaked over nothing, nothing, just some boys who wanted have small talk with me cause they probably noticed that I was new here and I panicked, I feel dumb and stupid, why do I have to be this scared I feel so ashamed of myself
I couldn't sleep tonight the scene kept playing in my head ...
Why do I have to be like this .
Author's note
Hii guys am sorry it took long for the boys to finally make their way in the story but here they are !!!
I really hope u like it 💓 I know it's kind of mid buy I swear am trying my best
YOU ARE READING
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