A Hole in Reality

Untitled Part 11

"You- you're what?" The honestly perplexed look on Levi's face makes you smile. Fear of how he will react to this information is still there, but mostly all you're feeling is love. Love for this man who is actually quite tender and loving, a bit of a dope at times (like now), and the father of your child. You smile and repeat your words.

"Pregnant. You're going to be a daddy."

"H-how?" Now you do laugh, and wrapping your arms around him tightly, whisper in his ear.

"It's funny how when a man is confronted with parenthood, they seem to forget how the sex act works."

After a moment of silence and opening and closing his mouth like a landed fish, Levi shakes his head and chuckles softly.

"I'm sorry. This is rather huge to process. I never-

"Wanted this?" You're of course, thinking canonically. He doesn't miss the flash of sadness in your eyes.

"Thought this would happen to me," he finishes patiently. "I always expected I would die on the battlefield, and never experience the things normal men do. Hell, I WANTED to die on the battlefield. Yet, I fought on for the sake of everyone around me despite that."

"Maybe you were fighting for yourself too, deep down. The possibilities of a real future."

"Maybe I was fighting for you." Crickets singing, a loon laughing on the lake, are the only sounds for a few moments. When he pulls back and looks in her eyes, it's with agitation.

"Levi?"

"I'm going to be told I must go. For the sake of others, I must go. But what about what I want? Does it matter?"

"I'm sure Erwin would-

"What, YN? Understand? You've watched the show." He laughs bitterly. "Would he really?" You have nothing to say to this, really. Deep down you know he's right.

"I want you. I want this child. I want to race, the vegetable and herb garden we planted out back." His voice continues to rise as he speaks, and tears slip down your cheek. Noticing this, he lowers his voice, quietly growling out his last words.

"It's all going to be taken away from me, YN." He swims for shore, leaving you alone, without another word.

When you come back to the house, he is still wearing that agitated look. He sees you and stops pacing, running his fingers through his raven locks.

"It's all in my head, hu?" He mashes the button on the answering machine down angrily, and you hear Miche's urgent voice:

Levi, it's Miche. Elise's father is military. Most likely on that team researching the portal, if my instincts are correct. Get back to me.

"I'm going to meet with them now. No," he says as you reach for your keys. "You're staying here!" He wraps you in a tight hug and then steps back, eyeing you sadly. In one quick movement, he bends down to kiss your belly, then exits the house: the sounds of his tires squealing down the driveway echoing in your ears.

It's a ten-minute drive all told, but it feels like a lifetime. With a small growl, Levi slams the car in park and heads up the walk. It feels like their time here is coming to an end.

He feels cheated, betrayed, and afraid. The thought of taking you back with him when he goes has crossed his mind but no. That is not the world he wants to see his child growing up in.

He takes the elevator impatiently, muttering curses at the slowly moving numbers. At last, the doors open, and he heads down the hallway, knocking briskly on Erwin's door. The face that greets his is cool and collected. You wouldn't think there was a crisis at all. He bumps past Erwin with barely a glance.