𝒜 𝒞𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝑅𝑒𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒮𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓈 | ᴀᴢʀɪᴇʟ

Chapter 111

Chapter 111

"You didn't tell me."

Arwen folded her arms, taking the blow of Cassian's accusation. Azriel sat on the bed somewhere behind her, silent and brooding. She had expected them to be cheering at her excellent performance, relieved to know that she had never once been in danger. But no. "It was better that you didn't know."

Cassian didn't pause in his pacing. "Better? I thought they were fucking torturing you, Arwen. That I was being forced to stand there and Rhys was letting it happen all for a show. Why couldn't I have known, even just for the peace of mind?"

"Because they had a daemati," she told him—them both. "My mental shields are strong enough when I'm prepared. Rhys and I thought the risk of too many of us knowing would weaken the plan. Besides, it kept your reactions natural. They believed it."

"What if they didn't? What if they realised that you were tricking them and attacked you?"

"Then I know you would have defended me. Rhysand was never in danger either. He let that daemati into his head and caged him in. My head was protected and I had all of you there around me. There was not a single moment that I didn't feel safe."

"You weren't safe," Cassian bellowed, throwing out an arm. "That's my entire point. I thought you were Rhys. If I thought you were being hurt, or Rhys should I say, I would have left you to protect the wrong person."

"Good!" Heat spilled into her cheeks. "Our High Lord should be our priority. It is who we are sworn to protect and serve. I don't know what oath you made to him about me but it was foolish. I am an emissary. I am expendable. My brother and this court are your duty, not me."

Cassian halted, a hand pressing to his chest. "Expendable? You are Rhy's priority therefore you are mine. Just as Feyre is. There is no way in flaming Hell that you are expendable, Arwen."

Even Azriel shot her a cold, unwavering glare. 

Arwen's lip curled to her teeth. "I don't see you in Feyre's chambers screaming even though she knew about the plan. Or at Rhys. Why me? Why stand here and yell at me even though I was just doing my own duty?"

"Because you should have told me, Arwen!" She flinched at the volume. "It's a damn habit you have—letting people in only when it benefits you. What about me and what I need from you?"

Her mouth fell agape. She looked back at Azriel, hoping foolishly that he would come to her defence but he sat silent, staring at the floor. "So now I'm too selfish," she murmured. "Make up your mind Cassian because on one day you accuse me of being so selfless that it was doing me harm to now I don't think about you at all. I told you to trust me and it is not my fault that you didn't."

He grappled at the air between them, his fingers clenching and she was sure if he wasn't wearing leather gauntlets she'd be able to see the bones of his knuckles. "You're infuriating."

"You are being unfair!" she yelled. "How can you be upset at me when I was doing exactly as my High Lord asked? If I had gone against him then I would be scorned for that as well. Do you not see the corner you are putting me in?"

He scoffed and dropped his hand. "You are not in a corner. All you had to do was tell me what the plan was. Tell Azriel. That was all and it would have been fine."

"At the expense of going against my brother's wishes? I am not you, Cassian. I know my place and my loyalty."

The fiery rage that grew on his face at that accusation—that he was disloyal to his High Lord and Lady—struck fast. Her own flame of fury wavered as he took three storming steps towards her. Her bare feet skimmed across the cold ground as she stumbled an equal amount of steps back, a trill of true fear going through her as his figure loomed over her, her back knocking against the bedpost. For a moment, she was subject to what others saw him as—Lord of Bloodshed. She had never truly appreciated just how terrifying he could be.