A Step Off the Path

Witch

Chapter 1: the interview starts . . .

"Eating well and doing a good deed every day are the secrets, boy," cackled the crone with an evil laugh,

"You really are one thousand years old?"

"Absolutely, boy. We celebrated my millennium birthday two months ago. It was a lot of fun. But now, (her voice took on a harder edge) why have those fools of attendants allowed you in here to see me?"

"Because you are chief witch, the queen . . ."

"Pah! I am no such thing. I am the Seat. That means I take the stool at gatherings of the High Coven while the other poor bitches have to sit on the ground. Thus, I have a certain degree of greater authority and prestige than the rest of the witchhood, but I am no empress or monarch. I have been the Seat for the past forty years and will probably serve another twenty or thirty before they put me out to pasture and let me idle away the last fifty or so years of my life."

"Anyway, get to the point, boy, before I turn you into a toad."

"Ha," the young man laughed, "You won't be able to do that."

"Oh, won't I just," sneered the hag, "Why do you think that I can't?"

"Because it won't happen, I know that."

"Do you? Well, you'd better explain yourself."

"I will, but first, tell me how you survived all the witch hunts over the many centuries of your long life."

"I didn't get caught."

"Thousands of witches have been slaughtered."

"No. Thousands of innocent women have been slaughtered, very few witches. Any witch worthy of the name should be able to easily avoid those fools of witch hunters."

"Ah, I had begun to suspect that could be the case. So do you witches just stand by and let innocent women be hung and burned in your stead."

"That is a difficult matter for us. Often the poor creatures are killed before we can take action. The High Coven is charged with protecting the institution of witchhood, and that is their priority. Thus, there are also many occasions where they deem that the risk of exposure is too great and they are forced to allow innocent - and some not so innocent, I might add - people die.

Decisions to intervene or not intervene are frequently controversial, but they must be made."

"Witches do not enjoy a favourable reputation, you are mostly regarded as evil."

"Alas, that is true, and it is undeserved. Witches like to have fun and get up to mischief, but real wickedness is rare. Any witch who indulges in the latter risks serious punishment.

I will allow though, that some of the jokes and tricks that witches pull off do have unexpected and undesirable consequences. That is unfortunate.

Pompous and conceited individuals are a favourite target. There is something highly enjoyable at seeing such people get their comeuppance."

"Yes, I suppose so."

Chapter 2: . . . and continues . . .

The Seat studied her visitor for a few moments thinking that there was something strange about this young fellow.

"Tell me, madam, why are there so few male witches?"

"Generally, they prefer to be called warlocks, they think it sounds sexier than male witch. Well, firstly, when a witch has a child, nine times out of ten it is a female; and secondly, female witches have an average lifespan of around eight hundred years, but male witches live to barely two hundred."