The Beloved Beast

Part 23-An Unwanted Longing

Neil gazed around the shop in boredom. For the last two hours, Renee had been trying to select a ring for their mating ceremony. She had already seen about two dozen rings and could still not make up her mind. "Don't you have something a bit bigger, maybe with a solitaire or a large stone?" she asked irritably to the old man who was showing them the jewelry. "I will see what more we have," he walked to the back of the shop to rummage in the drawers. Taking a sip of his coffee, Neil leaned back on the sofa to close his eyes. A similar scene swam before his eyes. He remembered the day he had brought Tanya to this very shop to select a ring for herself. How lost she had been! She had selected a plain but tastefully made ring of rubies and sought his approval with an eager look. He had appreciated her choice, the simple design had suited her slender fingers. He sat up straight, rubbing his tired eyes with both his hands. It had been more than a month now since she had gone, and he was still unable to sleep properly at night. His body ached with an intense desire to feel her softness once again beneath him. His nerves were frayed from this constant hunger which assailed his senses. "Look, Neil, does this one look good on me?" Renee extended her hand to show him a huge stone sparkling almost obscenely on her finger. "Everything suits you, sweetheart," he replied, trying to hide the boredom in his tone. They got it packed along with a few other pieces Renee had taken a fancy to, before leaving the shop. They still had to shop for a wedding dress and Neil curbed the overwhelming sense of ennui rising within him, to fall in step beside her as she entered another exclusive boutique of haute couture.

Neil looked out of the huge glass window of the restaurant. The last hour had been spent at the boutique with Renee explaining to the seamstress just what kind of dress she wanted. After watching her model half a dozen gowns, he had been ready to give up for the day. So, here they were now, enjoying a light meal with his favorite wine. "When are you calling the pack meeting, Neil?" Rene wanted to know. She had been after him to call a gathering of all the pack elders to take away Tanya'sstatus as the Luna of the pack. Spearing a pink, plump shrimp with his fork, Neil put it into his mouth, chewing for a moment to savor the taste. "What is the hurry? I will call it in my own good time," he spoke, annoyance flashing in his eyes. "Why? Don't you wish for us to get married soon?" her lips pouted petulantly but he could see the venom in her eyes. She still hated Tanya. "Of course, we are getting married. Just don't rush me, Renee," his voice told her to back off. The rest of the meal, Renee kept giving him sulky looks but he could not care less. He did not know what was wrong with him these days. He lived on a short fuse.

The cool breeze felt good on his burning skin. Neil raised his face to the sky, inhaling deeply of the scents of the forest. He always loved to take a jog in the woods, on the narrow paths between the tall trees, whenever he was disturbed. It had been a childhood habit. He had been a quiet boy who knew the pain of growing up without a mother. His father had always been too busy mourning for his own loss to care for his tiny son. Over the years, there had been other women who had passed through his father's life, but none who had cared about him. With time he had learned to erect huge walls around himself to make him appear brave and invincible. That way he found he got hurt much less, but it also stopped people from really knowing him. Then, at the age of fourteen, a whole new world had opened before him. The world of girls. He had been much popular in school among the she-wolves. He never had to exert himself too much for them to fall for him. His status as the Alpha's son had helped too, as had his racy bike and later, the flashy car. At the age of sixteen, he had to take up the responsibility of the Alpha on his shoulders. That had been a huge setback. Slowly, the curse had started to take effect, making him crave blood. He had been hopeless with the thought of spending the rest of his life with the jinx preying on his mind, turning him into a beast. At that juncture of his life, he had met Renee, whose parents had just shifted into the pack territory. They had left their previous pack, due to some dispute with their alpha and requested to be taken in by his pack, which had been granted. Renee and he had become a pair, dating first, and then becoming lovers. He liked her wild red hair and sultry looks as well as the hourglass figure. She had been an experienced girl, fun to be with, and one who was well-liked by the crowd in school. At that time he had promised himself, that he would one day marry her and make her his Luna.

Neil sat down on a rock, panting from the brisk jog. All these thoughts had been crowding in on his mind. He knew where his stream of thought was leading him. Tired of the constant struggle to keep his beast under control, he had decided to shift into the city. There, the idea had germinated in his mind to marry some other girl first to revoke the curse. Naive and innocent Tanya had seemed so right for that. Her guileless ways had made his work easy and they had been married in no time. What he had not expected was the desire he would feel for a human, an ordinary woman who was nothing remarkable like his Renee. So, when the time came, he had found himself unable to take her life. Unable to sink his claws fatally in that peachy, milky skin of hers, which felt like silk under him. Until in a fit of panic, he had asked Renee to finish her off, as she had been asking too many questions. What if she found out the initial reason for their marriage? What if she decided to leave him for good? In the end, she had still left him. He should never have allowed Ray to come near her, he thought with a sigh as he got up to return to the house. 

He had just come out of the shower when his phone rang. It was Renee. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight at my place? My parents will be out of town for the night," she invited. "Sure sweetheart. I will try to make it," he promised, his heart sinking. He had a full day of work in front of him. The mining lease they had obtained from the Seaside Pack took up all his time these days. Production had started and there were a hundred things which needed his attention, with none to lighten his burden. Ray had been a valuable companion, a good Beta, and an excellent friend, but these days he hated the sight of the other man. He felt a feeling of burning jealousy whenever he thought of the two of them together. His wife and his cousin. Why did he always find them together? Did she prefer him to Neil? He felt the onset of a headache and shook out two tablets from a bottle in the medical cabinet, before downing them with some water. Then picking out one of his business suits, he dressed for the meeting he had that afternoon. With his jacket in his arms and his sunglasses covering his eyes, he was about to get into the car when Tara accosted him. "Do you know Neil what that brother of mine has done?" she almost shouted in rage. "What is it, Tara? I am getting late and am in no mood to talk about Ray," his manner was discouraging but it seemed to have no effect on the girl whose eyes were swimming with tears. "Hear me out, please. He wants me to go abroad for higher studies. He says I have caused enough trouble here," Tears streamed down her face, which she angrily wiped before facing him hopefully. "He may have your welfare at heart, Tara. Nothing wrong with going abroad for studies. It will be good for your future." "Nothing of the kind. It is all that woman's idea to get her back on me," Tara spat. "Keep Tanya out of it!" Neil was angry now. "How can I when Ray has been meeting her in the city? Emma told me about it on the phone," with that, she turned and ran inside. 

Neil started the car and with a screech of his tires drove out of the driveway. So, Ray had met his wife in the city. How dare he? She was still his woman, his Luna, and no other man had the right to be with her. Even if he did not want her himself. But he did want her. At least he did physically. The constant hunger for her was eating him from the inside. It was surely nothing more than that. It couldn't be anything more. He couldn't be nurturing any feelings for her. Neil stepped on the brakes and the car came to a stop with a jolt on the roadside. He wiped the sweat from his brow. What was happening to him? Why was he getting such thoughts? Why did he find Tanya so much on his mind these days, more now than when she was with him? He was unable to forget her. Picking up his phone he rang his secretary. "Colin, cancel all my meetings for today. Tell them I am indisposed," he directed. He was in no state to talk business. He stopped at a shop to buy a bottle of wine and some chocolates which Reneeparticularly liked. Maybe he would after all take up Renee's invitation for dinner. Tonight, he would take her to his bed and try to forget about Tanya. He would get her out of his mind and his heart. Yes, his heart, where she had silently made her way.