Chenford-The Bar

11

Tim raised his eyebrows. "Oh."

Lucy nodded. "He just wasn't right for me, I guess. We barely saw each other." She looked at her hands, starting to fidget with them.

Tim continued to display a concerned expression and nodded. He knew there was something wrong with her the past few weeks. He just didn't think it was her relationship. Now, looking back, he didn't know how he hadn't seen it.

The flirting with the random guy at the bar, the moments at Tim's house, Tamara's call. He felt stupid for not seeing it, even more that he hadn't been very helpful.

"Have you talked to anyone about this? Besides Tamara?"

Lucy looked up. "You." She said. He squinted.

"Not Nolan? Or Aaron?" He was honestly surprised. She usually told everyone she trusted about her personal life.

"Nope. Never felt comfortable saying anything about it. I guess I didn't know I didn't like him until Tamara brought it up." She shrugged her shoulders.

Tim nodded. He looked at his watch. Their lunch break was about to end. They hadn't officially taken it, but after he had seen Lucy go and talk to Chris, he decided to keep note of the time. Deciding that if they both got hungry, they'd eat something from their bags.

"You should find someone who's, and no offense, not a college student to talk to about all of this. I know Aaron's busy right now with the TV show or whatever, but maybe reaching out to other people wouldn't be a bad thing."

"What about you?" She asked, looking at his face for any shift from concern. After a few seconds, it took a turn towards confusion. "What about me?

He didn't exactly know what she was getting at. He wasn't much of a person to talk about emotions. This whole conversation was checking all of the boxes for things he already didn't want to talk about.

"Well, you're a good listener. I know it's been weird since we kissed, but I think we could get past that and be good friends, Tim. Like before. I kind of need someone to listen to my boy drama that isn't a college student." Lucy smiled weakly. She knew this wasn't what she wanted because all she wanted was to be close to him. But she knew she couldn't have that.

Tim looked at her like she had grown another head.

After a few more seconds of looking at her, he sighed. Hanging his head.

It wasn't that he didn't want to help Lucy. It was that he didn't want to go back to before. Before they had kissed. Before they had tension between them anytime they were alone. Before he had realized how badly he needed her.

He shook his head. "Lucy.. I can't." Lucy wasn't entirely shocked. She knew it was 50/50, but hearing it made it a little harder to handle. She really did trust him the most at the station.

"Why?" Lucy was trying to keep herself calm. Tim kept his head down. "I just can't."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't understand. If it's because it's about my personal life, I thought we were past that. I mean, I was pretty sure you were sensitized to all of my rambling." She sat up straighter.

He shook his head more. "No. It's just." He sighed. "I can't be your friend. Not like that. I can't listen to your dating life. Not anymore. I can't go back to the way things were before."

Silence filled the room. The clock on the wall ticked. The silence consumed Tim. At least, that's what it felt like to him.

Tim counted at least 30 ticks when Lucy finally spoke. "Why not? I don't understand why we can't go back. Why is that not an option? It was easier that way."

Tim went back to the expression he had before. It was like she was ignoring everything that had happened to both of them, everything that resulted in Tim having feelings for her.

"Really? You think that was easy? Jesus Lucy." He put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on the table, wishing that he could be anywhere else.

Lucy was so confused that she was ready to scream at him. "Don't act like I can read your mind, Tim. We've been fine for a month, why now have you decided we can't continue that." She couldn't believe what he might be insinuating.

"I haven't been fine, Lucy. I've watched you get into relationships for years. I have seen how they start and how they end. I have to say nothing because it's not my place. I was fine with that. Now you want me to have a say, but Lucy. I can't. Because I have such a big bias against any guy that even looks at you that it wouldn't even be slightly fair to you."

He was standing at this point. He knew by now it was well over their lunch break, and he knew he'd get chastised, but at this moment, no calls were coming in. No one was in need of saving. At least those outside of the investigation room.

Lucy looked at him. Tim sighed and closed his eyes, continuing to shake his head but only slightly now. Lucy's realization skills kicked in.

"Hm." Lucy took a play from Tim's book. Choosing a one syllable sound that could honestly be classified as a grunt.

Tim slid back down in his chair. Putting his head back in his hands and his elbows back on the cold, metal table.

Lucy fidgeted with her collar. She suddenly felt warmer than she remembered being.

She didn't know what to do. She had just gotten out of a relationship not even 30 minutes before. Now Tim was confessing? Lucy didn't even know what to call it.

Tim looked at Lucy, trying to gauge what her response would be, if anything, something he did with most people. He knew it wasn't going to be what he hoped for.

This wasn't exactly the idea he had in mind when thinking about telling her about his feelings. Not that he had put much thought into it.

Lucy stood up. She knew it was well over their break time, too. They needed to get back to work. Not that the next few hours would be enjoyable in the slightest.

"We should get back to work." She said. Deciding that avoiding the conversation was the best option for now. Tim looked up at her. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at her like she was insane.

He stood up and was going to say something, but he knew that pushing Lucy to talk about something she didn't want to was not how he wanted this whole thing to go.

Tim nodded and opened the door for her. They both walked out and went to their shop.

Both hoping the next four hours would go by without a hitch. Or a word.