THICK SKULL , twd [ 1 ]

33. teen angst

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                    BONES BEGIN TO ACHE as you get older. Your memory goes or becomes flashes. Your brain begins to shut down. People come and go. You watch your family grow, branching off to wonderful things with a warmth in your chest.

      As Nellie's boots scuffle alongside a limping Rick Grimes, staring at an angry, grief stricken Carl Grimes—she starts to wonder if she'll ever get to that age now.

      An empty road with shrubbery on each side guides them. She has no idea how long they've been walking but her jaw hurts from the hit, her chest hurts from the possible death of her mother and friends weighing on it and the ivory cage that protects her hearts feels like its falling apart inside of her from pain.

       Her knees hurt, reminding her that this new world is aging her far too quickly. Carl is ahead of them. He hasn't said a word and neither has Rick, so, neither has Nellie. Her brain is flooded with images of Hershel and then her mom replaces his position and then Sadie. It just goes down the line of imaginary horror.

         "Carl, stop!" Rick erupts, stopping both kids in their tracks. Carl doesn't spin around, his dirty flannel stays facing his father and Nellie. "We need to stay together. We got to find a place with food, supplies," Rick limps over to his son, words slurred from the hits from The Governor. He rests a hand on Carl's shoulder, "Hey. We're gonna be....."

        Rick's words are sucked from his mouth. Whatever comfort he wanted to give slips from him as Carl sends him a deathglare. Nellie slowly approaches the two. Truthfully, they have no idea if they'll be okay. Nellie doesn't think she'll be okay until Michonne or Sadie or anyone else they built a life with shows up. Carl doesn't speak as his glare drifts over to Nellie. If she wasn't so tired, maybe she'd make a comment but there's a familiar grief between the 2 of them. Two older siblings who couldn't do enough to protect their baby siblings.

          The boy begins to walk away again. Nellie furrows her brows in sympathy towards Rick. A thick sadness hazes over them, a loss of hope.

               What have I done? That's the look Rick gives her.

                     Despite their rough start, Nellie's heart aches for Rick. Wife dead, daughter possibly dead. All his friends and family seemingly gone. Koa and Sadie, basically his kids as well, gone.

         A man they both loved deeply was murdered in front of them.

        Nellie stands next to Rick, "I was the same way after my brother died," She speaks quietly, pointing to Carl, "Just—give him some time. It may be a lot of time but." Rick's eyes soften for a moment, choosing not to ask about the mention a brother. He nods and continues to limp forward, the two following after Carl.