Disfigured Violets

Chapter Two

Author's note: I just wanted to let ya'll know that I decided to extend the ending of chapter one into a whole different chapter. If you want to reread chapter one to kind of have chapter two make sense then go right ahead. But I'm pretty sure you can also read this chapter without having to re-read the one prior. This one is a little shorter but I think it gives us a bit more insight on Devin's mind <3. Thank you so much. 

Enjoy your reads!

Devin

Waking up to an early call from Blake wasn't ideal. The sun was barely waking up, so why should I? Especially on my day off.

I moaned and declined the call, closing my eyes. I didn't care what he had to say honestly. I kept replaying last night the moment I laid in bed, feeling sick of being weak. Jack and Rowan had to literally fight for me last night because I practically froze.

They were always chasing boys off in high school but it was different, I think. I'm a grown woman now. I should be able to fight my battles. I mean, that argument wasn't that bad. I had always been okay after we'd argued before so what's any different this time? People actually seeing the uglies of our relationship? I mean every relationship has its ups and downs. I knew that much at least.

I began to regret not blocking him as soon as he called the first time around because I had to decline ten more calls until I finally gave in and answered. He spoke immediately, "hey babe, I'm sorry. I know last night I was drinking, and I was just mad, you know? I don't know why Rowan and Jack hate me but please understand where I'm coming from." I began tearing up, staying quiet. I knew the exact facial expression he had on his face now. He said those same words before and somehow, I still found myself feeling bad for him.

I hated my heart for betraying me because it always felt the need to feel sympathy for those who were going through rough times. Maybe it was because I understood what it was like to feel alone.

Even when surrounded by people.

And maybe that was my fault but at the same time, I think my heart knew Blake may have had a role in that.

But those fucking words sounded rehearsed. Not a single ounce of authenticity. Because he would always say a variation or reiteration of those words.

I got up and ripped the picture of me and Blake off my wall and set it on my dresser. I couldn't stand seeing it there anymore. He didn't deserve to be the center of my world, mind, and soul. He sure as hell didn't fit in there anyways. Everyone in my life treated me with love, care, and with such positivity and happiness. It contrasted heavily to those in my life, Jackson, Paige, Annie. Even Rowan treated me better, and sometimes I was convinced he may secretly hate me.

'Yeah, we were different, but opposites attract right?'. I could strangle myself because I was a walking contradiction at this point.

I admired all the photos of each and every one of them. I realized I had more photos with Rowan in them than Blake. He also noticed, which is why he wanted to take the photo I had in the center. He always competed with him. It was, sadly, fitting because I honestly couldn't stop comparing them and I think he saw that. I always compared them in the beginning of our relationship, but I obviously stopped, or tried to. I know that's fucked up, he was putting in the work to gain my attention, so I believed it deserved it, Rowan didn't have to do anything though. I slammed my fist on the dresser, frustrated and irritated I was up so early to deal with more fucking issues.