We're Still Human

Chapter 2: My Favorite Kit Kats

"You've grown so big, Thandie," Sanele plops himself onto my bed. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"It's been long, but not that long," I mumble, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "You could've told me you were coming."

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I did, Thandie." he shrugs. "Besides, you know who I'm here to see."

Sanele left for university before we moved here, and even though he hasn't been with us for a while, I told him everything that was going on with me. From Kendall and I developing Nan interesting relationship, to her various escapades and issues with Sofia, Audrey, and even Liliana. What interested Sanele the most was that this time, I've become more open with my sexuality than I have been in the past. But obviously, these changes came with the fact that being at a boarding school is completely different than going home after a day of classes. What makes this even harder is having a crush on your roommate.

Still irks me that we won't be roommates this year.

Kennie is supposed to come back from her trip today. Kait is leaving for university in about three months, so Kendall and her family went for a vacation in Cairns. Each day, she would sneak me a selfie of her in the morning, and each weekend, I'd see a post card in the mail from her. One time, she managed to send me back a picture of Kaitlyn falling into the ocean at the beach after trying to dive right in. She timed that picture so perfectly, you'd think Kait was a model. Honestly, dating Kendall is fun, exciting and new. I'm not used to something like this, you know?

And hopefully, it stays that way for as long as we're in love.

"Kendall isn't back for another three hours, Sanele," I say, checking my phone for any message from her. "Even if she does come over while you're here, you're not meeting her."

"Why not? I want to meet the girl that turned my sister from a closeted freak to an open lesbian," he teases.

"Not a freak and not entirely an open lesbian, Sanele."

He nods, looking sympathetic. "Mom...will she know?"

I sigh. "I'm not trying to get kicked out of this house, I still want to go to college."

Ever since we left Sydney for a fresh start, I've been trying to live under the radar as much as possible. My mom wanted me to repress these 'weird sexual urges' that I have and try dating guys at my new school. However, when I went for the New Year's party last year, drinking quite a lot, and staring off at this brunette girl in the corner, I couldn't help but feel it was right to see if I was really a lesbian. It had always been a mystery to me; did I actually prefer women to men, or was it just a phase? And if my ex-girlfriend in Sydney didn't confirm my suspicions, I am indeed into girls and girls only.

And if anything, my feelings for Kendall confirmed it more than anything.

Kendall is unique. She's creative, thoughtful, and a romantic. Although we got off to a rather rocky start I may say, I think she did change how I see my sexuality and how I see the world. For the longest time, I felt like I was playing a role, but with Kendall, even though we did play a role at some point, it was arguably the most alive I had ever felt. 

That was, until I had to come home to be brought back to that mask.

"Take it from me, mom is not that scary once you talk to her," he says. "As long as you still want to play the part of the role model daughter to a lawyer and doctor, then that's fine."

"That's not the only thing I'm struggling to tell her," I admit. "I...I want to go to an academy for the arts."

Sanele's reassuring smile drops. "Yasmina..."