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❀̥˚ chapter five - a shoulder to cry on ❀̥˚

It's another Monday morning where Criselle wouldn't talk to me. I spent the whole weekend contemplating on what to text her–but in the end, I chickened out. I just sighed sadly as I stared at Criselle, willing her to look at me too. But she just sits there, animatedly talking to her seatmates. As I watched them from afar, I knew that approaching them, and talking to them, would just make me feel so out of place.

At this point, it has been a few days since she started avoiding me. She’s always making excuses saying she needs to go somewhere, or she's doing something important whenever I invite her to hang out in my place. And now, she's just flat out ignoring me, to the point that I started ignoring her too. My heart and pride can only take so much rejection from her.

I keep thinking about what happened these past few days. If I did something wrong. If I said the wrong thing. If I did something to anger or offend her.

“Hey, what's wrong? You look glum today, which is unlike you.”

I just sighed some more. I'm in no mood to hear what Maven has to say with his incessant talking.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “No witty comebacks or replies? Must be serious then.”

I glared at him and tried to downplay my feelings. “It's nothing really important, I'm just bothered by something.”

“It's Criselle right?”

“Wha– How do you– I mean no, of course not silly.”

“You've been staring at her since before lunch even started. Only an idiot doesn't know there's something amiss between you two.”

I kept quiet. I wanna rebuke him, but he's right. Here I am, acting like a fool over a girl–but she's not just a girl. She's my best friend, and hell, she's even more important to me than a boyfriend will ever be.

But I think she doesn't want to be my best friend anymore.

Maven's eyes went wide as my tears started to fall. “Hey, what's wrong? God I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, it's just… ”

I heard Maven's panicked voice getting farther away as I quickly went out of the room to get some fresh air. I went to my usual spot–the stairs at the back of our school where no one ever goes because of rumors that it's supposedly “haunted”. I used to sit here all the time and read books back when I was still a loner.

All my highschool friends stayed in my former school–I was the only one who transferred at the start of senior highschool. What's worse is that we even have to move houses because my mom landed a prestigious job here. Meaning, I literally had to leave my friends, my loved ones, hell I had to leave the place I’ve known my whole life!

So as you can imagine, adjusting here has not been easy for me. I had a hard time making friends since they already know each other here, they’ve already formed their own friend groups.

At first, I didn't mind being alone. Personally, I thrive at doing things by myself and I thought that things like this won't bother me that much. But being alone while you're surrounded by people who seem like they’ve known each other their whole life is hard. It isolates you and makes you feel like you're truly lonely.

So when Criselle befriended me, life became colorful once again. She approached me last year, when we were still in Grade 11. I remember that it was maybe 2 months since school started, and I still barely got close to anyone–well close enough to call them a friend anyway. She then asked me a question about our homework that she's been struggling with–and the rest was history.

We've been the best of friends ever since. She even became sort of a bridge between me and my classmates, so that I can get to know them better. She made me feel like a part of this community.