INTRUDER

13 DAYS BEFORE THE INTRUSION

I sit in the woods alone. Alone. No one is there. I need some time to relax from all of this things that are going trough my head. I feel useless and horrible, like no one wants me. I feel trapped because of all the horror that has been happening in my house lately with Garred and his horrible abuse. How can someone live like this? I wonder if there is anyone else in the world living like this. Is there? Or am I the only one suffering this multitude of abuse by my own father? I want to reach out for help but how can I if there is no one to look for since no one can help. Garred is a liar and he will do anything to keep his record clean. No police calls, no time in jail, no anything. He is clean, he is safe, he is amazing, he is the best, he is loving, he is sober most of the time: those are all lies that he tells the people to make him believe that he is all that great. Everyone loves him in this small town so if I told anyone they would think I was just looking for attention. Isn't that what all these teenagers want, attention? That's what everyone thinks, at least.

The air feels cool, its coldness shocks me. I feel that it is becoming colder every passing day. I am going to have to start wearing my jacket. Ugh, I hate that jacket. It's so black, it's as if there were no life in that thing. It reflects my life fully, the blackness of it. The hurtfulness of all of this. It's just that.... that my life is black. The darkest and meanest shade in the colors of the world. The color of a blackhole... darkness since there can't be any light in it. The only thing that separates my life from a blackhole is the fact that there is just a little light at the end of the tunnel that you can always reach. That's what keeps me in this world, that I can someday reach that life of freedom and happiness. I hope that that light is never ever going to go away. I hope it will always stay there till the end of my days.

It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there

It's hard to believe that I'm all alone

At least I have her love, the city she loves me

Lonely as I am, together we cry

A tear slides down my cheek as I listen to the lyrics to Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Under The Bridge".

Why do I have to be so lonely in this world? Will I ever have anybody to take care of me? Anyone I can fall into and be sure that they will catch me right away not letting me fall?

I stand up and walk towards my house and close the door when I enter my room.

Sitting on my bed, I stare at my pink painted wall. The dull color bores me to death, making me bite my nails. I look at my phone, the one thing that I can communicate with. I grab it and start smashing it on the floor. Hitting it and stomping on it while crying. No more calls, no more texts, no more anything. I am going to completely isolate myself now. There is no use in finding any help any more. I am done with everything, with all the helplessness I have.

This is all Garred's fault.