Walking the Ruins

Split

Soundtrack: Ryder — Ruins

For breakfast, we have water soup. Once more.

I watch the kettle on the fire, listlessly, feeling weak with hunger. The smell of my sweater, a mix of smoke and sweat, makes me gag. But I need its warmth—it's colder today.

"Shit!" says Rose, aptly describing our predicament with a single word.

I look at the others sitting around the fireplace, where the water in the pan takes ages to heat up. "What we gonna do now?" I ask. "We need food."

"We can get more apples," Jenny suggests. "Let's go back to that tree where we found them yesterday."

With a shiver, I remember the wolves—that's what I have decided to call them even if they might be dogs. They were close to that apple tree.

But the thought of the small, hard fruits makes my mouth water.

Steve gets up. "Yeah, a good idea. But we need a real plan, something more... long-term. We'll need more than just apples if we want to survive here." He glares outside, through the empty window frames.

Survival... yes, that's what it is about. I nod. It's weird that, some days ago, I was sitting in a pizzeria with my mother and my obnoxious brother, and the only problem I had was that I was unable to make up my mind—should I have a calzone or a margherita? And now I have to think about survival! I look into the flames, smiling in disbelief.

"Do you think that's funny?" Jenny asks. She sits across the fire from me, staring at me through slitted eyes.

Anger flushes me, and I'm readying a riposte. But when I see sadness and despair in her eyes, I hold my retort back. "No, I don't think it's funny," I say, "but it's weird... the way our lives have changed so quickly."

Kevin clears his throat. "The apples are nearly ripe. This means that it's fall, autumn. Within a few months, it'll be cold. So... it's not just about finding food for today. We need to plan for the winter. We've got to... stock provisions. We have to find a place to spend the cold months, to spend the winter."

"We have to hunt," Rose suggests. "Do you remember the deer we saw yesterday?"

"Right." Steve nods. "We need weapons. Weapons for hunting... and for defending ourselves against wild animals."

"We must find other people." Elaine's gaze is on the fire, her voice is calm as usual. "Don't you see? We're nothing but six... kids. We can't survive here alone."

Jenny gets up. "Are you serious?" Her voice is loud and her gaze is on Steve. "The way you're all talking... you seem resigned to stay here. You seem to think that this is our life now. Like an adventure camp, but permanent." She takes a breath and gestures at the crumbling plaster on the wall next to her. "I don't want to stay in this waste dump."

Rose rises, too, and puts her hand on Jenny's arm. "I wanna go home as well. But... but as long as we don't know how, all we can do is... survive here."

Jenny sighs. She sits down again, rests her head on her hands, and stares into the fire.

We continue to discuss our options and decide to split up for today. Even though I'm not happy with the thought, it makes sense. One group is to find the apple tree and to bring back as many of the fruits as possible while exploring things along the way. The other group stays in the city. Both groups will search the ruins for anything useful.

"I'll go to the apple tree," Steve announces. "Who's coming with me?"

Before I am able to react, Jenny answers. "I'll come with you. I found the tree yesterday, I'll find it again."

For a moment, I consider joining them, but then I decide against it. An excursion with Steve would be neat, but much less so with morose Jenny trailing us. I keep quiet.

"Okay, the rest of you can search the city," Steve concludes. "We'll meet back here before sunset."

After having said our goodbyes to Steve and Jenny, I comb the city with Rose, Elaine and Kevin. We enter the ruins and rummage through the debris. Most of what we find is useless, rotting or crumbling.

And there are bones. Human bones. Most of them are in the buildings, even though we also see a few outside. We try our best to ignore them. Mute, ghastly witnesses unable to tell their story. Useless.

In one of the larger buildings, we find a cavernous, dark hall with rows of decaying seats facing a stage. It must have been some theatre or cinema. In the gloom, Rose places herself on the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our new show after our little break! We'll sing and dance for you."

Kevin and I laugh. Elaine is quiet.

"I want a movie!" Kevin says and makes a booing noise. "No singing and dancing, please. No! Give us Star Wars!"

"No way," Rose answers, "today it's Star Dance." She does a pirouette followed by a little jump.

I remember yesterday's events in the library and open my mouth to warn her, but before I can utter a sound the part of the stage that Rose is standing on collapses.

"Rose!" Kevin jumps up and runs toward the could of dust where Rose has been.

"Ugh!" Rose rises from the rubble and dust.

Kevin helps her to get out.

"Let's get outside," I say.

The others nod.

We proceed more carefully, but we still find little of interest.

Our luck turns when we enter a building that apparently once held a store dealing in metalware. We find some cutlery, and even a number of knives. Half buried in the mud, I discover a metal rod, with a kind of hook at its end, a poker maybe. It feels good in my hand, solid. I tuck it into my belt. There are also bowls, pans and bottles of stainless steel. We pack some of them into our backpacks and decide to come back again, later.

The sun stands high as we find some raspberries near the river. Picking the tiny fruits is a lot of work, and it fails to satisfy my stomach.

Afterwards, Rose and I rest on a rusted bench of cast iron. A small meadow separates us from the riverbank. Kevin and Elaine have resumed searching the ruins.

The sun has chased off the morning chill and its light feels hot on my dark trousers.

"I'm afraid for Elaine," Rose says. "She's about to crack."

I shrug. "I couldn't say. She's always so quiet."

"Yeah, she's quiet, but not like that. She's like... absent."

I fail to come up with a good reply and sigh. Yet another problem—as if fate hasn't thrown enough of them at us. "We'll have to keep an eye on her."

"Yep." Rose lies down beside me. "But now, I need a bit of rest."

Drowsily, I watch the waters of the river coming from the lake, making their journey to the faraway sea. The stream is timeless, having minded its own business for millennia, only briefly disturbed by us humans.

Rose gives a small sigh, then her breathing becomes regular.

I guess I should stay awake and keep watch. But before this thought can turn into a resolution, my eyes close.