He was my Smoke,

Chapter Thirty Six - His ring: It's a promise that starts now-

Chapter thirty six:

Here we go, I took a breath as I sat down in front of my computer as soon as I was finally on my own in my room.

Everyone was extremely excited about my engagement that I kind of doubted why I wasn’t as much excited but then it hit me; I knew Abraham was not okay.

I flexed my fingers and then searched ‘Hawks’

Abraham would kill me if he knew I knew the name of Christopher’s gang, but I accidently knew it after hearing Sam say it.

Sam, Connor and Andrew have quit and they didn’t join Abraham on his fight, so they’ve been the ones who’d been helping me through the whole gang business nostalgia.

I scanned all the links but none of them seemed to be important to me and I hissed in frustration. I randomly scrolled down the page and clicked on page 13 of the search links.

I closed my eyes as I waited for the page to load, what the hell will I do now? He’s missing, Blake haven’t called me, my exams were next week and I was completely tense because Abraham was not okay. I just felt it, I never believed anyone who talked about the instinct thing but in my situation, I was proved wrong.

When I looked back at the screen, my eyes narrowed as I scanned the links and then my eyebrow rose when I saw a name of a blog, I clicked on it and was startled when I found a discussion about ‘skating on trees’

My eyes widened as I remembered Sam’s words,

“Gangs always communicate in a secret language because they can’t afford a snitch. It may cost them their lives.”

My heart hammered wildly inside me and it reminded me of the attacks I used to have and then my confused mind led me to the sense of pride of being clean for a long time, I barely remember the last time I had drugs.

I read the discussion and it wasn’t a joke, people were serious, they were actually arguing about something and this something was ‘skating on trees’ that was by the way held in the west of America where Abraham told me he’d be.

I just had a hunch.

I bit my lips as I stared at the words’ skating on trees’ thinking about everything.

What I had in mind was crazy, irrational even. Maybe if I do it and realize it was a huge mistake, I’ll never ask myself the what-if.

I clenched my hands and my eyes moved to look at the shiny ring on my finger that was reflecting the light. My heart hammered against my chest again while my eyes moved from the screen to my sneakers beside the door.

Finally my eyes froze on the sneakers and I knew what I was going to do.

~

I’m held down, helpless, weak, breathing my own sweat and blood, my eyeballs are rarely capable of seeing things and my mouth was dry as a desert.

I groaned as I felt something dig deep in my skin, the feeling of pain was extremely un human that I barely felt it no more because my body was used to it.

I felt wetness gliding softly against my cheeks and I closed my dead eyes in shame. I was crying and regardless of what’s happening I felt it was my way out.

My thoughts went to Roya, how I first hated her for shaving my chin and actually putting my sleepy ass on a bed in a house I’ve never seen before.

At that moment I didn’t trust anyone and I was hardly believed to be a real man because of how cruel my reputation was. Her room was girly and simple, her body was something else as well; not as disappointing as I thought and I will never forget how I fled the room when she was in her closet getting dressed.