Chapter Seventeen: Let's Talk or Try To

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I don't know why tonight seemed like such a big thing, but I guess the idea of talking about it with Clarke was different than talking about it with Kieran. We finished work mostly on time and since there really wasn't any point in me going home first or even taking a different cars to his place we rode together in his car, still driven by Trevor. Trevor, who wanted to talk to the whole time and had no idea what was going on. It was awkward to say the least.

Going up the elevator and walking into the hallway was just as awkward, we didn't talk, not yet anyway. I knew what I wanted to say I just didn't know how to say it.

"Are you hungry or anything? I can call Rosa to get something for us?" Clarke asked as we entered the penthouse.

"Rosa still works for you?" I asked him surprised, remembering Rosa as Henry's maid.

"Yeah, I grew up with her too. Only made sense to keep her on," Clarke shrugged.

"That's nice," I commented, "but no I'm okay for now. We should...get this over with."

"You make it sound like it's awful," Clarke rolled his eyes, sitting on the couch.

"You're my boss," I said plainly, standing away from him. "It's wrong that we...."

"Had sex? Twice?" Clarke finished for me.

I sighed as I looked at him. I realised he was slightly cocky about the situation but still genuine at the same time, if that was at all possible. I had been so worried about what I thought of the whole situation it had never crossed my mind what he thought of it.

I sighed and sat myself on the couch, still at a distant from him. "I was in a relationship last year, and it was intense but also probably the biggest relationship I've ever had. We broke up and I just shut down, closed myself to other guys and have been closed for the last year."

"Why are you telling me this?" he frowned.

"Because it's one the reason I think we slept together," I explained. "I hadn't opened up at all and I did you with you a bit once we got to Paris...and I guess my body took over a bit that night."

"You said one of the reasons?" Clarke said slowly.

"Ahh....well I think the other had to do with the tension we've had between us since we met," I told him. "I mean, we hated each other and then we didn't and we started to trust each other in Paris and I started to see you differently I think."

"You've really thought about this, haven't you?" Clarke asked, leaning forward.

"Haven't you?" I said slowly.

He paused but then nodded slightly. "Of course, maybe not that way you have, but of course. I guess you're right about the weird tension thing... I have always thought you were attractive, the moment I saw you, but hated you in the beginning. That can be confusing."

I immediately rolled my eyes at him.

"But...that morning in Paris when I wanted to talk that wasn't what I would've said," Clarke shrugged.

"Then what did you want to say?" I frowned at him.

"I wanted to say that it felt good," he answered. "That for once we weren't fighting and I think we've got along better since. That sometimes I solve my problems with sex but for us it works better than most...and that there's still this pull towards you that makes me just want to...fuck you."

His words had me heated. As he spoke he made it sexy, and it turned me on. He was right about the pull towards us. The sex between us worked...and it worked well, but that didn't mean it was the solution. Suddenly Clarke moved over and he was very close to me. I was already hot and bothered, and now I was losing control of my breathing.

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