Jon Snow & Sansa Stark - Game of Thrones Fanfiction

Souls of the Dead

He loved her. He loved her more than he could bear. He loved her more than he would admit and could admit. Every time he looked at her, his heart skipped a beat. Every time he talked to her, he just wanted to lean back and listen. Every time he was with her, he forgot the rest of the underworld, the heavy weight on his shoulders, the calling of his duties.

And she loved him too. But despite her love for him, there was a certain unhappiness in her eyes, in her voice, in the way she walked around. She wasn't made to hide in the shadows and linger in the darkness. Just like a flower couldn't fully bloom in the cold snow.

"Sansa?" Jon watched her full plate.

During the last half an hour she had barely eaten anything, apart from 6 small seeds from the pomegranate. Her cheeks had once been rosy and blushed, but the color was fading and only whiteness remained.

He loved her. He loved her more than he could bear. He loved her that much that seeing her withering away like this, shattered his heart into a thousand little pieces. "Do you want to go home?"

"Home?" Sansa looked up and her eyes widened. The sudden gleam that brightened them made a pleasant warmth spread through Jon's entire body.

"To Winterfell. To your mother. To your sister. To your brothers." He reached for her hand and he tried to warm her ice cold skin between his own palms. He was nothing without her. He had been nothing before they had met. And he would return to be nothing when she had left. But he couldn't keep her here, locked up and sealed away from the world she loved so much.

Sansa shook her head. "Would you come with me?" She whispered. She loved him too. She loved him, but detested his world, his kingdom and his reign. How could he ever blame her? How could he blame the sun for hating the night?

"I can't." He bent his head, but his hands kept on holding onto hers. "My people need me. My kingdom needs me. If I'm gone, there will be nothing but chaos."

Sansa's lips formed a straight line.

He remembered the first time he had seen her.

She had been climbing trees with her brothers. Higher and higher and higher, as if they had tried to reach the top of the Olympus, even though they were only demi-Gods and would never be allowed to enter. When she had almost gotten there she had fallen down, all the way to the ground. Her backbone had cracked, little bones in her body had broken and for a few short seconds her heart had stopped beating.

But even in death she had been beautiful. Despite her fall, she had smiled. She had smiled because she had attempted to reach one Goddamned place and had made it to another. She had told him about the irony in that and how even demi-Gods didn't seem to be free from the cruel games the Gods liked to play.

He had assured her he was not a cruel God. He was not playing games. And he had told her that her time hadn't come yet, that he would send her back to live a much longer life than the one she had already had.

But she had come back. She had jumped off the highest tower of Winterfell. She had drowned herself in the ice cold water of the melting snow after a terrible long winter. She had bled herself dry using her brother's sword.

And every time he had told her that it was not her time yet. That she had a much longer life to live and that he would sent her back to live it.

"But I love you..." She had whispered. "I want to be with you."

"You don't know what you ask for." He had answered. And he had let her go again.

"The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy." Jon whispered and the tip of his finger draw circles on her ice cold skin. "I never wanted you to be unhappy."

Jon had rarely left the Underworld. The underworld was his home, his kingdom. But he had made one exception once. He had saddled the horses all by himself to make sure no one knew he had gone. He had cracked open the earth, moving swiftly and quickly so he could close it again before anyone could notice the unusual light coming in.

Winterfell had prepared itself for the coming Winter at that time, but all the preparations had stopped when he had entered through the wide open gate. People had stared at him, Ned and Catelyn had rushed out of the castle with fear in their eyes. But he had assured them that he was simply here to ask for their daughter's hand in marriage.

And in that moment they had understood why their daughter had become reckless. Why Sansa had jumped off roofs and dove into ice cold water. In that moment they had understood that the God of the Underworld and the first born lady of Winterfell had fallen in love.

With tears in their eyes they had watched them leave. Jon had had his hand around her waist, holding her tightly, telling her to look over her shoulder to say goodbye to her family for as long as she could, because she would not see them again for a very long while. And Sansa had done so. But she had not cried. She had smiled. She had smiled because she could be with him and he could be with her.

"I'll be unhappy for the rest of my life." Sansa sighed. "If I go home, I'll be unhappy because I won't be with you. If I stay, I'll be unhappy because I miss the burning sun and the holy tree blossoming." She pulled her hand back and bent her head. "It does seem that cruel Gods did play an evil game when they let me fall on that first day I met you."

Jon stood up from his seat and walked towards her. Nothing he could do would truly comfort her. He knew that because he had tried, night after night and day after day. But he wrapped his arms around her anyway and he held her while tears rolled down her cheeks. "You can have it both." He sighed. "Not at the same time, but still." Jon rocked her back and forth in his arms. "Go home during the spring- and summertime. Warm yourself in the sun, spend time with your parents and siblings, ride horses and feel the wind through your hair." He let his head rest on hers. "And when Winter is coming you will return to me to rule by my side, to judge the souls that enter my realm, to love me and to make up for lost time."

Sansa looked up. Even with traces of salted tears on her cheeks she still looked beautiful. "I love you, Jon Snow." She stood up from her seat and cupped his face. Her lips brushed his, softly and gently and then fiercely and passionately. "And I will think of you every day we're apart."

Jon wiped her hair from her face and used his thumbs to wipe her tears away. "There won't be a minute I won't be thinking of you. But we have eternity. There is still plenty of time to love."