A Hero's Guilt

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Disclaimer: This is not mine I just thought people should read this. I got it from writersxannonymous on Tumblr

You knew something was wrong. You could tell by how his hands shook from time to time, how he zoned out and jumped when you or Billy touched him or call on him. When you asked, he just said that he's dry.

But then, you saw him at the party, drink after drink after drink in his hands. And if he's not drinking, he's smoking something. In his defense, almost everybody was drinking and smoking there. You were too. But not everybody picked fights with everyone every chance they got.

And when you asked, he brushed you aside.

It frustrated you. You didn't know why you cared. If it was Lex or Petra self-destructing, you wouldn't have done anything past asking. But it was different with Marcus. You've known him for all of two days and already you felt a certain pull toward him. You knew it was because of this weird hero-complex he has going on and no matter how many times you and Billy and Petra and Lex told him that there was no place for compassion at King's Dominion, he still insisted on stepping up for people. And if you were honest with yourself, you found it very intriguing.

The last straw came when out of nowhere, Marcus burst into the dining room and threw his drink right into Brandy's face. If you and Saya weren't there to pull him away, you were certain someone was going to end up in the infirmary, or jail.

"God damnit Marcus, first Willie and now Brandy. Are you trying to get yourself killed?" You asked as he tore himself away from the both of you. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine!"

"This is about Willie, isn't it?" Saya spoke up. "The assignment."

Marcus immediately turned away, running. "No... not on me... He did it."

"Okay, then why are you the one dealing with it?" Saya shouted at his back.

When he rounded the corner and vanished, you finally turned to your classmate. "What do you mean?"

Saya hesitated. "Nothing..."

"Saya~"

"It's not mine to share, Y/N."

"Shit!" You ran a hand through your hair. "This is not good."

"Yeah, no shit."

Not good was right. You could see it after that, that something was eating at him, eating him from the inside. You wanted to talk to him, but there in the middle of the party where almost everyone from school was present, you knew for a fact that you wouldn't get anything out of him.

And then, just as you thought it couldn't get worse, Lex happened and right after,

"COPS!"

It was hell. Everyone began running for their life, stumbling over furniture, trash and everything else in their haste. In all the confusion, you lost sight of Marcus. Heart in your throat, you scrambled out following the rest of your schoolmates.

"Marcus!" You called the moment you stepped on the porch. And then, you saw him on the pavement, shoulders hunched, hands clutching his head, obviously in distress.

There were the screeching of tires and two cop cars pulled over in front of the house. You pushed forward, trying to get to him but it proved difficult when a barrage of frantic students rammed against you. Thankfully, you saw Willie.

"Willie!" His eyes met yours.

"Marcus!" You tried to point, but there was no need. Within moments, Willie was beside him.

You struggled to untangle yourself and managed just in time to reach the boys.

"C'mon. Let's get outta here." You urged, taking a hold of Marcus and helping Willie block him from the cops.

"I can't do this. I can't do this." He kept murmuring and being shorter, it was easier for you to hear him.

"You can't do what? Willie, what does he mean?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"I know you were involved. And I know it's about the assignment."

You helped Marcus into the car and followed him in. You waited until Willie has pulled away from the cub to ask. "What? Did he do it for you?"

Silence.

"Motherfu- He did, didn't he? That's why you couldn't sleep last night." You directed at Marcus.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." He answered blearily and you very nearly slapped him.

Together with Willie, you made sure Marcus made it to his bed that night. The moment you flicked his lights on, however, he tensed.

You nodded to Willie and the boy nodded back. He made you a promise in the car. He would have Marcus' back when he needed it, and you would keep your mouth shut.

Left alone, you followed Marcus in and sat next to him on the bed.

"You should have said something." You spoke after a while.

"And say what? That- that Willie couldn't pull the trigger? That I bashed Rory's face in until his brain turned to soup? I'm a Rat, Y/N. A psycho and a Rat. They'll never believe me."

"I'm not talking about them. Fuck them!"

"Yeah, well, I can't snitch on Willie. He won't survive it."

And there it was. The hero, back again. It didn't matter that he was losing sleep, going out of his mind, haunted by the image of his kill.

Marcus still chose to put someone else in front of him.

Sighing, you flit about his room and finding a clean shirt toss it at him.

"Change. You reek."

"Yeah, like you're any better." He rolled his eyes, but still did as you told. He was fighting sleep. You could see that on the way his movements were slow and sluggish, how his eyelids drooped a touch longer than the previous.

Shaking your head, you pushed him onto the bed, pulling the scratchy covers over him. Still, he struggled against you.

"No, I'm not-"

"Just lie down, Marcus!" You snapped, sitting by his side and reaching out playing with his hair. It was unlike you but his eyelids drooped longer this time and he sighed, almost deflating.

"Just so you know, I still think what you did was stupid. There are many other ways to self-destruct than picking fights with Brandy of all people." You smiled when he chuckled.

"You gotta admit. She had it coming." He yawned.

"Yes, she did." You whispered as slowly, Marcus drifted to sleep.

Once you were sure he was gone, you exited his room only to bump into Saya coming down the hall.

She looked partially guilty but partially relieved as well. You wondered what it could be about, but you shook your head quickly. Better not snoop around the Kuroki Syndicate, they're just not worth the trouble.

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