My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter 18

I woke up Monday morning with the sun hitting my face. My body was its own personal blanket as I laid in bed.

  I had been laying in bed for the past ten minutes replaying Saturday's events in my head. I was trying to convince myself it was all some dream but I knew it was all real.

  Jax did in fact call me beautiful.

Jax did in fact hold my hand.

Jax did in fact almost kiss me.

Yet, I couldn't shake the fact that we almost got caught. We got lucky Marissa was the one who found us and not Hunter.

  After she walked in on us Jax quickly went back into the party and completely disregarded what happened. Marissa wouldn't drop the fact that we almost kissed and kept trying to convince me Jax liked me.

This whole situation gave me more of a reason to stay away from Jax and lock up any feelings I had for him.

Since Saturday I've been mentally thanking the universe that it wasn't Hunter who found us. I couldn't begin to imagine what would have happened if he saw us.

I played out every possible scenario and I hated myself even more each time. I wasn't letting some meaningless moment with Jax ruin my brothers friendship with him. It wasn't fair.

  "Morning." I hear Jax from my door.

  Groaning, I throw the covers over my face. "You're not the first thing I wanna see when I wake up."

Deep down we both knew that was a lie.

  I hear rustling around my room and without a warning Jax's hands wrap themselves around my feet and I fly out of bed, my head hitting the floor.

Landing with a thump I groan as I bring my hand to my head.

  "Jax! What's wrong with you?!" I yell.

"We're going to be late." He says. "Get dressed."

This was the first time I've seen him since our incident and I was shocked that this was the way he acted.

  Obviously I wasn't expecting him to kiss me and smother me with hugs but I thought maybe his attitude would change.

  "I hate you!" I yell at Jax as he walks out of my room.

  "Right back at you."

- - -

All day my stomach had been in knots. I was dreading going to spanish and having to face Jax.

Sitting in the lunch room I could see Jax sitting across the room with the guys from the basketball team.

I was counting the seconds before lunch would end and I would have to be in a room with him. I was hoping he wouldn't go and today would be the day he skipped.

Every time I looked up at Jax from where he was sitting I would catch him looking at me with a blank expression on his face. I tried holding back from looking at him but he was like a magnet.

"Are you going to eat that?" Marissa asks, pointing at my untouched food.

I slide the tray to her. "You can have it."

Her face lights up as she takes a bite from my sandwich and smiles with delight.

"This is heaven." She mumbles, her mouth filled with food.

We stayed in a comfortable silence as she enjoyed the rest of my food. Taking in every bite.

A short while passes before she finally speaks.

"So," She begins. "Are you finally going to tell me what was going on with you and Jax on Saturday?"

I raise my eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?"

"Stop playing dumb you know what I'm talking about. You guys nearly kissed. If I didn't show up when I did you would have finally gotten what you wanted." She explains.

Shaking my head, my eyes shift over to Jax who was looking at me before making an attempt to look away. "It's not what I wanted."

Rolling her eyes, she throws a piece of bread crumb at me. "Come on, Emma, you've liked Jax since that day."

I shake my head. "I have a boyfriend, Marissa. It's not right and don't bring up the past. That only happened because I lost my mom."

"I refuse to believe that."

I always thought back to the first time I realized I could possibly have feelings for Jax. It was the night my dad told me my mom had died.

Aside from Marissa, Jax was the only one who was there for me and helped me get through her loss. Hunter and I pulled away from each other and dad buried himself into work.

That night Jax stayed with me and held me, until I fell asleep. We shared nights like that a lot until he finally stopped and became distant with me.

"Believe what you want but there's nothing going on between Jax and I."

I didn't know if I was trying to convince her...or myself.