Female Stalker - A Brooklyn Love Story

Chapter 9

Was I really a "manipulative bitch" as he called me? Maybe there is a bit of truth to it. I know my flaws, and I never let anyone point at them or to take advantage of me using them. I cut those attempts very swiftly. But other people have their own flaws as well, and they have the right to overcome them. Why did he say that I never miss a chance to point at other people's flaws? Is it what I do? Perhaps unintentionally...

"Since when are you a fucking businessman???" That's what I called him.

"A fucking businessman." That was kind of harsh. I showed a lack of respect towards him, showed that I think little of his business abilities. He is working in a cell phone store after all... I kicked him in his weak spot.

Yes, I guess I could be seen as a manipulative bitch who never misses a chance to point at people's flaws.

Few days later, I still didn't hear from him. It wasn't surprising if everything he had told me was true - if he really felt that way about me. I guess his affection to me has faded. But I couldn't say the same about my affection towards him. The idea that he could be with another woman at the moment, hugging her tightly, kissing her hands just like he kissed mine, telling her how much he adored her... I just couldn't and imagine him with another woman. And I decided to text him.

"Hey, how you doing? Would you like to talk?"

He didn't reply that day, and he didn't reply the next day either.

I called. He didn't pick up. I called one of his friends. "Yeah I saw him today. Why he didn't reply to your message I don't know. I don't want to interfere in what's going on between the two of you," he told me.

I sent him another text. "Sorry if I have been harsh on you that day. I just felt very jealous when I saw that text on your phone."

And another text an hour later.

"Hon, why are you ignoring me?"

And another.

"Relationship is about forgiving each other and overcoming obstacles, together! I can't believe this relationship means so little to you."

And another.

"I guess you never really loved me, right? Tell me the truth. Was it all just a game to you? You replaced me for some Elizabeth?"

Wasn't this all childish? All these stupid texts. But aren't we kids when we feel vulnerable, when we want to be loved? And the more we demand love, the more childish we start to sound.

So stupid. I hurt him with my words, and he was hurting me by ignoring my messages. But if he came and hugged me, I would forgive him in a second.

I'm so tired of sitting and waiting for him. But how can I not use at least a tiny chance of us getting back together? I have to try!

I will send another text.

"I'm here, by your gym. We need to talk. Just for a min. Then I will leave you alone. I promise!"

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

I take another cigarette. I really shouldn't be smoking... Just one more.

Rain is starting to pour from the heavens heavily, and I am like a total idiot sitting in a car and waiting for him...

15 minutes since I sent the text...

No reply.

I hate it when men do that. Why are you fucking ignoring me? Text me back, tell me that you hate me, call me whatever you wanna call me. Men shouldn't be allowed to ignore women. It is too fucking cruel. It should be against the law. Assholes...

I put a car in a drive mode.

A knock on the passenger's side window startles me. Somebody opens the door and gets in the car.

I can't believe this is actually happening. Me and him sitting together in a car.

"Lola, what are you doing here?"

I take a pause, then look him in the eyes. "Why did you ignore my messages?"

"After what you told me, why should I reply?"

"So...if we were married...and had a kid...and we had a fight, and let's say I was wrong, would you still pack your bags and leave?"

"Lola, are you proposing to me right now? What kind of question is that?"

I smile.

"I told you what if-"

"We are not married, Lola. How long have you been waiting for me here?"

"Tell me one thing, Mike. Be honest, please. Do you love me?"

He pauses.

"Why do I have to answer a question like that to a woman who doesn't respect me at all?"

"Would I be texting you for days and seeking to see you if I didn't respect you?"

"I don't know, you women can have different motives. You just can't stand when men ignore you."

"That's why you didn't reply, out of revenge?"

"Of course not. I told you, after what you told me, I had nothing to say to you."

"But I said I'm sorry. You don't accept my apology?"

"Lola, you don't get it. It is not about apologizing and forgiving. I understand you, your feelings, I understand that you were mad and jealous. I understand that it was not your fault that your ex came out of nowhere and approached us, although he had no right to do that. But even though we are apologizing for these things, they still hurt us, they still hurt our egos."

"But what about our love?" I ask with tears welling in my eyes. "Do we just give up and break up because our ego is hurt? Is that what we are supposed to do? Yes, let's run away, let's pretend we are strangers. The door is open Mike, you just need to get out of the car. Don't worry, I'm not gonna bother you with my texts anymore."

He is sitting silently, thinking about something. And I'm sobbing.

"Such weather. Rain. Let's go to Masal, we will sit by the window, order Turkish tea and Kunefe... Ah, Lola, what do you say?"