To Love a Monster

|| Chapter Eighteen ||

|| Chapter Eighteen ||

As I stared at the object in his hand, the words automatically tumbled out of my mouth. "You're sick."

He didn't reply but I could witness his jaw tense. It wasn't like I was sure but everything made sense when I thought about it. Who else would do such a malevolent act? Who else would think of such morbid thoughts that would ensue in the unfathomable? Who else doesn't have the capacity to think about the dire consequences?

There was only one person that came to mind, Daniel fucking Collins.

"You're sick in the head." I couldn't help but add. My idiocy didn't manage to let me down and I acrimoniously regretted my temerity to mention my turbulent thoughts out loud.

His eyes darkened and a shiver raked my body from the look he was sending my way.

His hands closed around the link, which I've spent most of today searching for might I add, then his face became void of any emotion. Blank. It was ironic how the guy who had caused the disaster had the audacity to also be the only way the disaster could be cured.

I wanted to leave. I wanted to just turn the other way and run back home. Back to where I knew I was safe from this...from this monster.

My mind was congested with many emotions that I couldn't physically display. How could I when a guy who loved dissecting bodies was standing a few meters away from me? My heart was heavy, like it was drowning in a pool of guilt and shame. I felt like I was betraying my family, like I was betraying my pack. The only thing that used to run through my mind was that Daniel was my mate, what I was doing is fine. It didn't matter that I always seemed to be spending more time with the enemy than my pack because it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault that my mate was Daniel Collins.

It wasn't my fault that my mate was a monster.

But now I seemed to recognise my mistake. My mistake was thinking that Daniel could be any different from what I heard. I knew he murdered packs, I knew he wasn't a guy you would want to get yourself involved with. So, why was I?

"You did this, didn't you?" My voice was weak but I knew that he heard me because his eyes darkened. He stared at me and I could practically feel the hatred evaporating from his body as he burned with anger. Though, he never uttered a word.

"Answer me goddammit!"

He shook his head. "What do you want to hear?"

"Did you...did you hurt that girl?" I stuttered trying to find the correct words to describe the girl's condition. I was about to ask if he 'killed' her but I remembered that she was breathing and still had a chance of living, even if it was small.

Daniel was silent.

"Just tell me -"

"Yeah, I did," he interrupted me as he ran a hand through his hair.

Even though I expected it, his answer was like a knife cutting a deep wound into my skin. In my head, I had hoped that my assumptions were wrong. That maybe that link reached him by accident but you and I both knew that that was not the case, at all. Tears threatened to spill but I held them back. I was stronger than this; I was not going to show him that he was metaphorically killing me.

I bit my lip. My mind was reeling with scenarios to excuse his doing but I knew that was coming from the part of me that wanted to be with him, that didn't want to see the bad side of him, the real side of him.

"Why?"

"'Cos," he leaned against the tree as he continued, "I felt like it."

The urge to slap him was impossible to describe. "You're a sick bastard."