The Perfect Machine: Kingdom Of Glass (GxG

55. You sound already defeated

While Harlow is being examined, I make my way down to the cafeteria to have breakfast. Lara asks to join us and for a brief moment, it feels like everything is all right. My mother and Mary are discussing various kinds of recipes, while my father talks to Harry about how he works as a mechanic.

"Are you all right?" Lara asks me, tilting her head to look me in the eyes.

"Yeah," I smile a bit, but I can feel a huge lump lodged in my throat. I rub my eyes to hide the tears that are on the way to sneak out.

"Do you want to leave?" She asks, and I nod, taking my tray and throwing it in the bin as I hurry out of the door. I breathe out as I rest my back against the wall. As my legs lose all strength, I sit down on the floor.

"What's on your mind?" Lara asks as she bends down and puts her hand on my knee.

"A lot," I chuckle as I dry the tears away from my cheeks.

"Is it Harlow?" She asks compassionately, and I try to breathe out in silence to avoid crying even more.

"It feels like her fate has already been engraved," I claim and realize that every last hope in me has left my bones.

"You sound already defeated," Lara says as she narrows her eyes in worry.

"I'm not ready," I sob as tears find a way down my cheeks as if they knew where to go. "I'm not ready to let her go," I say, feeling every burden on my shoulders come out to show.

"You know, when I first met both of you, I thought that Harlow was rude," Lara makes me laugh a little. "I realized later on that she was acting out because she was already set to die in her mind. It was her defensive mechanism to act like that," She tells me and I can feel the lump in my throat begins to vanish.

"In truth, Harlow is a confident person, and it was her confidence that made me feel safe, but then her illness took over and she lost it all. Imagine having something so dark buried deep inside of you that threatens to take all you've dreamed of and crush it all," I say and it's as though I can taste the pain that Harlow feels. I wish I had the ability to absolve her misery because I feel like she is consuming it for both of us.

"I don't think I can imagine what it feels like," Lara tells me, and I give her a slight smile, appreciating her company. Finally, we both get up to our feet and I get the last few tears out of my eyes.

"I'm going to see if Harlow is available," I smile and she nods. Both of us say goodbye and I make my way through the halls past a few men in uniforms until I stand in front of the door that divides Harlow and me.

I was about to knock on the door, but it opens before I could touch it. Harlow smiles at me, but it disappears quickly. She walks out of the room and locks the door behind her.

"Are you all right?" Harlow asks as she places her arms behind my back to hug me tightly. I rest my face on her collarbone as we stand in silence. I can hear her heart beating through her garments.

It's incredible that I've found myself in a position where I treasure a heart for beating. In the name of love, what have I got myself into? I wrap my arms tightly around her, scared that she could break into particles if I don't.

"I'm all right," I mumble and a chuckle escapes her.

"I can tell," She says and I smile faintly as I step back to look at her face. Through my fingertips, I trace the black lines on her skin. She watches me to search through my eyes. It feels like she can read every lie, every pain, and every fear that runs through my veins.

"I love you," Her words bring me out of my trance. I watch her with my half-open mouth and my eyes narrow in disbelief.

"I know," She swallows hard as she looks at the floor for a moment.

"If our circumstances were easier and if I had more time, I would have done something differently. I wish I had the chance to prove my worth to you. I wish I could show you how much I love you because even if my heart stopped beating, I would still love you endlessly," She tells me and I feel my lower lip tremble as chills run down my spine.

"I-I," I quiver as feelings smash through each other. As frustration forces its way out, I begin to slap Harlow on the shoulders in anger as I can't contain the raging storm in me.

"Hey, it's okay," She says softly as she attempts to keep my hands in hers. Harlow catches me in a hug. I take a stronghold off her shirt as nothing but torment, hatred and misery rise into tears.

"It's all right," She whispers in my ear. Her voice filled with comfort and reassurance. Yet, I can't calm my anger because I know that she may not be here to contain it at some point.

"I love you," I whisper.