You are his girlfriend, aren't you? But why does it feel like you aren't anything to him? Why does he ignore so often? Doesn't call you back, texts you back or even meets you? Why are this rumours spread so wide? Why does everyone think of Lisa and...
After telling him the truth a weight was lift from my shoulders, but still something felt wrong when I left his hospital room. It felt wrong looking back one last time before leaving him behind for the last time. I didn't even realize that tears were streaming down my face, after taking a seat in my car. 𝐷𝑖𝑑 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑔 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒? No one could ever answer me those question, also there was Daoming Si.. He was there for me and understood my situation but in the end I gave him the cold shoulder and left him. My heart was aching, thinking about the boy I had kind of feelings towards, not knowing if it was attraction or love, still there was one thing I knew he deserved an apology, for my bad behavior in front of him, for giving him the feeling that I didn't like him, for choosing Jungkook over him.... 𝑆ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦? 𝐼𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑚 𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚? 𝐿𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖- My thoughts were interrupted by s phone call from an unknown number, I answered it ~Hello? -Hello, is this Y/N? Here is Lisa! ~Lisa? Ah J-Jungkook's girlfriend. Is everything alright? -Yes, its me his e-ex-girlfriend. Y/N I know that our relationship isn't that good and that you probably hate me, after everything that happened because of me, but is there a possibility that we can talk for awhile it's really important to me and I think it's also important to you! ~Is it really urgent, cause I have already plans for today?! -Please, only ten minutes! Give me ten minutes and I'm going to explain everything to you. Please, give me a chance!? ~Alright, only ten minutes, lets meet at this xxxx cafe in 20 minutes. -Thank you!! See you there, bye! ~Yeah bye.
The call ended and I looked into the mirror in front of me "𝐼𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟? 𝑂𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝? 𝑁𝑜 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠!! 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟?!" I changed into something casual and made my hair a little bit
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Time Skip...
I'm standing now in front of the cafe deciding wether to enter or just leave this place and forget about, just in the right moment Lisa saw me and waved to me. I smiled at her and sat in front of her. -Hey, I'm happy you made it. ~Ah yes, hello. I don't have much time and if I'm honest it's kinda awkward for me too. -Yes, I totally understand if I would be in your position, I would have felt the same. But still please just hear me out, you don't need to answer you can just leave afterwards, it's totally ok for me. ~Yes, I understand, go on. -Ok. So first of all I want to apologize for being the cause of all those problems in your life but also in Jungkook's. I'm kinda a home wrecker, haha!(sad laugh) And I'm very very sorry for that, I have never realized what happened because of my selfishness, I was so deep in love with him that I never realized what pain I have caused you with it, what lie Jungkook got stuck in it because of me, a relationship that broke because of me. I never realized it until the accident that caused Jungkook to lay now in a hospital bed and for him to forget his memories. Him forgetting me and being a stranger to him made me realize my fault. You will think now, why am I telling you this and why isn't Jungkook also in fault, thats because the guilt is eating me inside. The first time I saw him was, when we had a collab with each other two years ago, I immediately have fallen in love, he was perfect in any way singing, dancing, rapping and his personality was gold. At that time I've know that I loved him, but I never knew that he had you already. We grew closer because of work and every time he talked with his hyungs you were his first and last topic, my heart broke into pieces knowing he had a girlfriend, every time he talked about you he smiled over his whole face, jealousy slowly took place in my soul. Always when he began talking about you and smiling I wished I was the one bringing this beautiful smile on his precious face, but it was always you. My selfishness took over my whole and I was always angry when only your name was mentioned, I was so jealous that I talked trash about you behind his back, never knowing what a kind of girl you are. It came to the point were I couldn't take it anymore, I tried showing him how much I love him but he always pushed me away, that made angry very angry so I seduced him, told him lies about girls like you, an ordinary girl and him an idol how could this work out. I told him lies over lies until he slowly fell into my trap, I told him that our fans wouldn't accept a relationship especially with a normal girl. Slowly he drifted away, he was overthinking himself, he was stressed, couldn't concentrate anymore and I took the opportunity to show him I was by his side, thats how I slowly made him fall in love with me, but in the end you had always his heart. He never loved me the way he loved you, maybe I had his time, his affection and attention, maybe I brought a smile to his face finally, maybe I was the girl he was bragging to his friends and maybe I was the girl he took on the dates in public places, but in the end of the day his heart never belonged to me, it always had belonged to only one woman and that was you! How I saw it? Every time you called him he tried acting cool but I saw the excitement in his eyes, when you texted something the smile that got on his lips unnoticed by himself, the excitement he had going home, that was all things that made me notice that I'll never be his number one, that I'll never own his heart. And that it always will be you! You will ask yourself now, why am I telling you this. Easy! Because I see the bond between you two, maybe you don't notice it because you hate him for the thing he did and you want to move on, but in the end Jungkook never left your heart and deep down in your heart you know that this is true. And I also know that you have someone new, the guy in the hospital who was with you. I don't want to make your decision no! I want to tell you to take your decision wisely. I don't want you the regret it the rest of your life because of me!! That's all! I hope understand my urgency of going now after my statement. I hope you have a great life and that you can forgive mine and Jungkook's failure. Bye!!
Lisa immediately left after her statement and I was just sitting here and asking myself why my life is so complicated. It was nice of her explaining the whole cheating thing and protecting Jungkook but in the end he cheated even if she had manipulated him. My head was empty, I couldn't think straight. Slowly my eyes wandered to the wall, looking at the clock my mind realized that I only had 5 hours to decide and make the decision for the rest of my life. A decision that could hunt me until my death but also a decision that could make me happy for the rest of my life.
