Just Me Again.

11: Spilling The Truth

MARIA WAYNE

His cold hands were wrapped around my arm. I looked in his eyes – the same eyes that still somehow manage to skip my heartbeat. His gaze bore into mine when he said the words, "I missed you." He said. The words came out as a mumble, but I heard them perfectly. He missed me. I didn't know what to say to him. Did I miss him back? Yes, I did, but on the other hand, I was still angry, disappointed – yes, maybe I was exaggerating, but I was unable to forget how he didn't stand up for me when I needed him the most. Maybe, I am overstressing over the past, but I am helpless. I can't seem to forget.

All of a sudden it felt like his now warms eyes were replaced by the cold emotionless eyes. All of a sudden it felt like I went back into the past when he didn't believe me. I remember how he held my arm then, shaking me – accusing me. The difference between then and now is – then his hold was tighter and bruising and now it is delicate like he doesn't want to hurt me. Then his glare was traveling with unnerving thoroughness and now his eyes were searching for the depths. "I wish I never met a cheater like you," I remember him gritting out his words. I gulped and looked away – why is everything coming back to me when I am trying so hard to forget?

"Maria." He whispered causing me to look back into his eyes. They held so much concern for me, but where was it when I needed it the most?

I wetted my lips and stepped away from him. He hand immediately left my arm as he straightened and looked at me with a hint of hurt in his eyes, "I – uh – I." I was struggling with words when he chuckled drily. "You don't have to say it back." He shrugged. He didn't look into my eyes when he said those words. I sighed and just nodded my head. He glanced at me, "We shouldn't leave Kathie and Bear without any supervision. That duo can be quite disastrous." He joked. "I will go and see what are they up to." He added. I only passed him a smile which he returned before quiet walking out of the room with his head down and his hands stuffed in his pocket.

I took my time before walking downstairs and joining Silas, Kathie, and Bear. It was really weird for me to be around Silas – when he was the man I was running away from. I came to New York with a thought of seeing Silas as less as I could, but plans are never meant to work. My lips automatically curved into a smile when I saw Silas chasing Kathie while Bear was running beside Kathie. The way he treats kids makes me wonder how a perfect father he would be one day. When I was still his wife – this is all I wanted. Him, our children, a dog, and peaceful lives, but life has been nothing but uncertain. All the plans and dreams I had for myself crashed right before me and couldn't save them.

How funny it is that I am witnessing the perfect moment – the moment I always pictured in my head – just the difference was he wasn't mine anymore. We lost each other somewhere. A laugh escaped my mouth when Silas slipped and fell over the couch. Kathie burst into laughter while Bear barked and climbed over Silas who was breathing heavily. "You are happy that your uncle fell?" he asked Kathie who was giggling. "Wait, let me get you." He grinned and lunged towards her. Kathie squealed and ran away while laughing.

"Aunt Maria, save me. Uncle Silas will get me!" Kathie shrieked and ran towards me. I laughed when Kathie hid behind me and Silas halted just in front of me. He glanced at me before looking down at his niece. "You can't get me, Uncle Silas. Aunt Maria won't let you!" Kathie poked his tongue out and clutched my shirt tightly in her hands. I laughed when Bear hid behind me as well. I swear I have never met such a cute dog in my life – he was a pure bundle of joy.

Silas looked at me and grinned. He was about to say something when the doorbell rang. Kathie squealed and jumped while clapping her hands together, "My nuggets are here!" She said excitedly and ran towards the closed doors. Bear, of course, followed her.