Time To Fuck Up The Timeline

I Just Wanted Some Dango

Song Title: Natsuhiboshi English from Naruto

   "Hello, Shikaku, is Shikamaru here?" Naruto asked.

   "Naruto, what are you doing here?" Shikamaru came to the door.

   "Shikamaru, that's no way to greet someone." Yoshino scolded.

   "You know him?" Shikaku never heard his son talk about Naruto or ever hang out with him.

   "Yeah-"

   "Sorry, but I gotta talk to him and the others!" Naruto dragged Shikamaru out of his house.

   "Wait, Naruto! What happened?" Shikamaru asked.

   "I'll tell you when we get the others. It's important." Is all Naruto said about the subject.

———

"Well?" Sakura asked impatiently.

"Ok, something crazy happened to me over the past two days. Like crazy crazy. I mean, totally bonkers. It's-"

"We get it. It's crazy. Move on with the story." Sasuke ordered.

"It all started when I wanted some dango..."

Flashback

Naruto just wanted some dango. He decided to mix it up a little. It had been a while since he had some, so he thought why not? Nothing bad could possibly happen while getting dango. He should've know better than to betray ramen.

   Naruto completely forgot that he wasn't welcome in the restaurant. The dude running it hated Naruto. He threw Naruto out the moment the poor boy stepped in.

"Fine! This place is a dump anyway. Who'd wanna eat here when you've got Oink Oink just down the street?" Naruto yelled.

Oink Oink was a restaurant that had a reputation of being the worst in Konoha. The food was either burnt or undercooked, the drink tasted like dirt, and the restaurant looked disgusting inside and outside. Anytime someone ate there, they always got sick. There's been rumors that some even died from the food. No one knew how the restaurant was still open. It should've been shut down the week it opened up.

   Naruto's plan worked exactly how he thought it would. We're gonna call the dude who runs the shop, asshole. No capitalization because no one likes him and he's not important.

"Oink Oink is the worst restaurant in the village. My shop is way better." asshole bragged.

"Prove it!" Naruto dared.

"I'll give you as much dango as you can eat. Then you'll realize how much you were wrong." asshole said.

"Why should I pay for some crap food? I'm not gonna waste my money on your disgusting dango." Naruto turned around and began to walk away.

   "It'll be free." asshole glared.

   Naruto stopped walking and smirked. He turned his expression to annoyance before facing asshole. "If you're gonna keep bugging me about it, I guess I'll try it." After eating his fill, Naruto began to leave.

   "Well? It's better than Oink Oink, right?" asshole smirked knowing the answer.

   "Not in a million years. The dango sucked." That was actually the best dango Naruto ever had.

   "What?! Then why did you eat so much?" asshole was shaking with anger.

   "It was fun watching you go back and forth getting me dango." Naruto shrugged.

   "Come back next week, and you'll say my restaurant is better." asshole said.

   "I doubt it, but I guess I can at least give you another shot." Naruto walked out and started laughing as soon as he got passed the restaurant. "I can't believe he fell for it! That was so much fun."

Little did he know a certain ninja had watched the entire seen. She was super impressed by it. To think some kid was able to fool him so easily. She tracked him down and confronted him about it.

"Hey, kid. I saw what you did back there." The girl smiled.

"Are you angry about it?" Naruto asked. He had no idea why he was being confronted about it.

"Not even a little. Just the opposite, actually. In fact, I was so impressed that I want to adopt you. What do you say kid?" This girl was none other than Anko Mitarashi.

Present

   "Anko? As in our proctor for the second part of the Chunin exams? The crazy one who uses snakes?" Sakura asked.

   "Yup." Naruto admitted.

   "She never struck me as the type to want kids.  Are you sure she wants to adopt you?" Sasuke was really shocked.

   "Yeah. Crazy, right?" Naruto said.

   "You said no, didn't you?" Shikamaru said.

   "Well..."

Flashback

   "You what?" Naruto's eyes grew ten times larger.

   "I want to adopt you." Anko repeated.

   "Wha-why?" Naruto was baffled by that statement.

   "What you did back there, it was impressive. Most kids would have just left, and wouldn't have been able to pull off a lie like that. You have potential." Anko explained.

   "So, you want to train me? You can train me without adopting me." Naruto pointed out.

"No, I wanna adopt you. You can say no, if you want." Anko said.

   "I- we can try it out. Let's spend the day together tomorrow, and see how it turns out." Naruto suggested.

Present

   "How did the day go?" Sakura asked.

   "It went really well. I had no reason to say no." Naruto frowned.

   "So you're getting adopted? This screws the timeline up so bad." Shikamaru scratched his head.

   "I know, but it would have been too suspicious if I said no. All my life I wanted someone to love and care for me. Then, someone shows up wanting to adopt me, and I'm supposed to say no?" Naruto said.

   "No, you made the right choice. I'm happy for you, Naruto. We all are." Shikamaru said. Sasuke and Sakura nodded their heads in agreement.

   "Thanks, guys." Naruto did a group hug.

   "When are you moving in with her?" Sasuke asked.

   "Tomorrow. It's crazy how fast this happened. I never thought anyone would want to adopt me. Especially Anko. And it seems like she actually really wants to adopt me." Naruto felt like a child again. I mean, he is physically a child again, but he felt like a child mentally too, and he really liked it.

———

   That's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!