Blindly In Love (Sanders Sides LAMP fic)

Chapter 16: Breaking Point

Hey, hey! Hello and welcome. Guess who has freaking Covid again for a second time. Haaaaaa...... Yeah it's not a big deal, but I physically can't go to work for like a week so I deiced to use this time to get a chapter out to you guys. But anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's even angstier than I intended but oh well that is always how things go. Trigger warnings for this chapter is mostly just misunderstandings/miscommunication, anxiety, stress induced illness, self imposed isolation, self blame, self deprecation, and quite a bit of arguing. As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading. 

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Virgil's fingers skimmed absently over the braille keys of his laptop. He couldn't think of a single way to start the next paragraph of his midterm essay. A heavy sigh tumbled over his lips as mourned for all of the wasted time he was spending on this project due to his writer's block going into this assignment.

His phone went off. Wind chimes. Logan.

Virgil pushed away from his desk to stand up. He couldn't think right now. He'd go back and listen to what he'd already written after a short break to clear his head, then he'd try again and hope for better results.

Another blip from his phone. Water drops. Patton.

He stood and trudged over to the mini fridge in his and Remy's shared dorm. He opened the door and picked up the water pitcher. It seemed too light, it probably should have been refilled after its last use. He didn't want to deal with it right now though. He wasn't that thirsty anyways.

More wind chimes, two messages in rapid succession.

He didn't need to use the restroom but he might as well go while he was up. At least it was something to do. Somewhere to go.

A chorus of trumpets wailed over his speakers to notify another message. Roman.

He heard the jingle of dog tags approaching him and he smiled, kneeling down to rub the top of Ember's soft head. She let out a whine and pawed at Virgil's leg in an attempt to get him to sit. His expression melted into a slight frown and he stood up again. She was always so clever.

He once again grimaced as wind chimes played incessantly through his phone.

"For the love of everything remotely positive in this world, which isn't much in all fairness, I will smash your goddamn phone if it goes off one more time!" Remy said from where he rested on his bed, his voice straining to keep back the venomous annoyance that wanted to seep through.

"Sorry Remy. I'll silence my phone," Virgil mumbled, not moving from his spot as he rubbed his arm awkwardly.

He'd wanted to silence his phone before but without the voice activated sounds his phone had to offer, he was worried he'd lose it. He had no concept of how long he'd have to keep the ringer off for anyways, there was no telling when the messages would finally stop flooding in. His mother could message. She was quite dramatic if he didn't reply to her messages in a timely manner, she always worried for his safety after all.

"So you're not even going to check your phone after eight million texts?" Remy exclaimed.

"I'm busy. I'll check them after I use the toilet or something," Virgil snapped before quickly retreating into the restroom.

He closed the door and took in a deep breath of the cooler air the tiled room offered. The exhale trembled over his lips as he slumped against the wall. He just needed a moment, then he'd deal with the phone situation. They were texting so much. He had ignored them all of yesterday, perhaps they missed him. No. He couldn't think that way. Even if they did, it was his fault. His affections rubbed off on them and tricked them into liking him. They couldn't like him, they had soulmates already. They were happy without him. He can't be in their life. He couldn't and he wouldn't hurt Roman like that. Roman had ideologies that soulmates should be sacred and other people shouldn't come between them, Virgil had almost ruined that before, he couldn't let it happen again. He wouldn't let them near him again. He had to disappear from their lives; it was the only option. He could never see them again.