stay with me

Chapter 33

Grey:

I wake up and I have a bad feeling. I didn't wake up from a nightmare. I actually haven't had one since I told Jason goodbye. I guess that was my way of setting us both free. As I wake up though I know something is wrong. I feel it in my gut and I'm instantly worried. When I roll over and Hunter isn't there my fear deepens. I look at the clock and I see that it is 5 a.m. I get up and decide to look around my apartment maybe Hunter is in the bathroom or in the kitchen. Maybe he left a note. After thoroughly looking around my apartment and seeing no sign of him, not even a note, all hope that everything is okay leaves me body. Something is wrong. Why would he just leave in the middle of the night? That's just not like him. And then it dawns on me. He couldn't handle what I told him. It was too much. He couldn't love someone who was so obviously damaged.

I feel broken as I look around my empty apartment. A part of me wants to hold onto hope and believe that maybe he left for another a reason but I think deep down I know that's not true. I sit on the floor and I suddenly have no clue where to go from here. Sam wasn't here so I couldn't talk to her and I wouldn't be selfish and make her come back here early. She deserves to be happy and to not be weighted down by my problems for once.

I sit on the floor for hours completely loosing track of time. Not that it matters. I have nowhere to be today. As I sit there though I come to a realization I could let what happened destroy me and break me or I could decide to be strong and fight. I could fight for Hunter and show him I'm no longer broken. I could show him how being with him has healed me, maybe not completely but I was getting there. If he still didn't want me after that than at least I tried. At least I fought. Jason would be proud of me.