𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 [𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 - 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭]

Brief update!

Hello, been a while (5 months to be exact). I didn't really expect to go on a hiatus but as per usual life is a thing that exists and mine happens to be jam-packed. Additionally, (ooh big word), the last two chapters touched on some of Vega's backstory and it hit pretty close to home for me. I didn't really think that using some of my own experience as a plot device would take it out of me so much but it really did, although I've been feeling pretty frazzled anyway so hey ho. Either way after that I kinda lost my steam with this story. I'm working on it, promise. I'll always finish these stories, even if it takes a while!

Skip to the next para unless you want a pointless update about my lovely existence. It's mainly just venting. I will probably delete it later.

A brief summary of what's been happening that no one needs: I about survived my final exams, got decent grades, had just about the worst break-up (if you can even call it that), ended prom walking bear-foot through a shitty ass town crying into a subway, spent the entire summer break being a hermit crab, learned how to paddle board, spent most of my 4 - 10 am times on the sea after that trying to get some inner peace, off to college (a 2 hour commute there and back everyday so fuck me for living in the countryside), lost contact with my best friend due to the new schedule, found out he's been hard-core crushing on me for six years and realised that 'oh shit I am fully in love with this guy' and am now continuing my life with this knowledge and finally picking up his hints as he whores about and drinks himself under a table, we reunited at a concert where my drink got spiked and we fucking swapped cups so I had to drag his 6 foot ass into the men's bathroom (disgusting place) but we're all good because he's so much bigger than me that he managed to tough it out and didn't actually tell me that his (my) drink was spiked until the three hour drive home, furthermore I'm falling behind on all my college work while simultaneously realising through my psychology classes that I am so not as functional as I thought I was, my trains keep being fucking cancelled cause government and now I can't even get to my classes, the queen died at some point and the updated national anthem is just awful, I got covid a-freaking-gain even though my germaphobic ass is super hygienic (obviously to a detrimental level), I have an art final project due in 20 days that I have done literally nothing for, meanwhile my parents keep asking me 'so how's that book you're writing going?' Despite the fact I'm so damn tired I can barely get my lecture notes sorted out, and to top it all of (yay!) I'm trying to figure out universities and the likelihood of me getting into Oxford/Cambridge, and mapping out my life plan so I can travel and get my phd before 30 because fuck everyone that said I'd amount to nothing but a broke-wannabe-artist I'm gonna be a 'Dr' not a 'Ms'. Bitch. Oh yeah, also I'm being subtly nudged into a polyamorous relationship, ignoring the fact that I am terrified of love and afraid of intimacy despite being an extremely tactile person/therapy dog. Oh yeah, and shop clerks keep on flirting with me?? Which is weird because I'm not exactly someone you look at and go 'ah yes they're memorable and attractive'. Like I am very normal, my only outstanding trait is that I'm polite and I smile with my crooked teeth. Very confusing time. But I keep getting free things/extra portions and smiley faces on my cups? Who writes phone numbers on receipts still btw? Didn't know that was a thing. Oh, I also rugby tackled a guy in my English class on the first day of college while playing musical chairs, and now I have to live with that every time he asks to borrow a pen. It sounds like a rom-com but it's just uncomfortable. Send help. Or just some good vibes. Maybe soup?

Alright if you just wanna know what's going on with this fic start here!

Alrighty so I'm trying to get my plot points all marked out here but I'm having some issues with where the story's at now. My standard and style of writing has upped it's game (I like to think) and a lot of the old chapters aren't really grooving with me anymore (and with the fact that I'm already rewriting my old hunger games fic), I really don't want this story to go stagnant on me to the point where I rewrite it or delete it in a few years. Soooooo:

I'm thinking I'll refresh some of the old chapters once I've got my plot sorted. I started this fic with no direction and now I have one there's things that don't add up or fit in well. So I'm gonna go back, adjust some things etc. I mean I'm not even sure I'm liking the perspective/tense anymore so...

If it changes really drastically I'll advise you to re-read, but for now bear with while I sort my shit out. Remember that I only write in the breaks between life (and the fact I only managed to get on wattpad for the first time this week at 1:43 am on a Friday(Saturday?) should say enough).

Anywho that's me done. I'm gonna sort this out. Get more plot moving, get more Four content, flesh out my characters. Hope you stick around for the inevitable chaos! <3

(Idk how I'm meant to end these anymore so have a caterpillar).

🐛